Embracing life with chronic pain.

Archive for August, 2013

Moving Forward — 11 Weeks Post Op

This is now my second week of working full-time and keeping up with my family! I was able to attend (and help out!) at our son’s Cub Scout Pancake Breakfast fundraiser….this is the first one I have ever been able to attend! (This is now his 4th year!!!!)

That said…yes…I was tired and my tummy was sore. Saturday afternoon was low-key…..on Sunday I again had to lay low.

Now it is Tuesday! I have worked full busy days…and had a enough energy to enjoy some time with family after work. I know that I am definitely moving forward! It is so nice to get home from work and think…”boy…I could work with my exercise ball”!

My co-worker asked me today how I was doing….asked me if I was tired of not feeling 100 percent. All I could do was smile and say “I am feeling so good! The few twinges or tiredness of my tummy does not even register”!!

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Imagination (For A Dear Friend)

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I wanted to share this picture with a dear WP friend, Belinda. I hope that you can lose yourself in the branches….and can see yourself…chasing your children through the hole in the underbrush!

This is a favorite “hidden” path that my son and his dog enjoy! They will lose themselves for hours scouting different routes….looking for other “hidden” passages……as if they are lost in another world.

I just had to share!!!!!

WOW

Doctor appointments were beyond expectations! I am on track…doctors were amazed at how well I am doing. I now have the go ahead to exercise…to start lifting weights…to use my exercise ball…to increase walking routine….to even look at running again (yes…in the future)….!!! WOW

My husband made the comment when we left that this was the FIRST time I had gone into these doctors offices and NOT had pain or discomfort!

It has been a 14 year battle…with the last 5-6 years the worst….and of course these last 2 being the filled with major surgeries!

YEAH! I finally feel that I can breathe! I can actually just start moving forward!!!!!

Now I just hope to shake this feeling that yet another “ball will drop”…..it has just been such a roller coaster! So much pain…that I am not even sure I will understand what “normal” could be!

Anticipation

As I approach my doctor appointments, I am nervous. I have come a long way. I know my body is recovering….I have more energy….more stamina.

I have been experiencing some odd sensations in my abdomen….like knots along the length of (what remains) my intestines. It is definitely associated with stress. I will be discussing all with my colorectal specialist.

As much as I don’t want to admit it. I truly have a “strong” suspicion that I have an underlying condition that has not been diagnosed due to my unique circumstances. I have had some tremendous, completely unique diagnoses.

I have discussed some thoughts with my husband….he will help me in remembering to bring them up at the appointment. I also have a few notes.

Part of me doesn’t want to acknowledge…let alone ask about these few issues. However, experience yells at me to bring all of these up to doctor. Who knows?! Maybe it is just my body coming off all of the meds and recovery from all the trauma.

Thursday will be here soon….and with it will come my opportunity to thank my Doctors as well as to ask questions and discuss my concerns.

An “Ah-Ha Moment”

I must second….or third….or fourth comments I have seen posted here. I joined WordPress to share….I was hoping that I would be able to share what I have been going through…my illness, chronic pain, the procedures…the surgeries…..to help someone else. I wanted other families to benefit…..knowing how much my experience has impacted our son.

What I have found…is not just a way to express myself….my experiences to share……I have been so touched by those that read my blog….those that are following my blog. Their comments…their encouragement! It is truly amazing!

Our WP world is the perfect example of the positive that today’s technology can provide! I can post my thoughts…concerns for the day from the US…..and it can be read….throughout the United States, Canada, Germany, China, India….the world! We can reach out to each other! It does not matter where we are physically…..we are able to share and to connect WORLDWIDE!

This was my Ah-Ha Moment today in reading a response to my response! I am more connected…..I feel that I have expanded my friendship boundary through WP.

I know that God had a lesson to teach me……I can only hope that a part of that was this awakening. To know…that our lives touch…..even if we are more than 1,000 miles apart….or are a Nation or more apart.

We are brothers and sisters on this earth….walking paths to the best of our ability. I know that I can say that I have been touched by others “worlds” away. It is truly amazing….a huge blessing…how we through today’s technology can touch another’s life. To provide support….encouragement…..care…..to others walking similar (and yes, some dissimilar) paths.

It’s Okay

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Found this when backing up some files….I had been playing around with a chalkboard on my iPad. I think it definitely says it all!

Give yourself permission to feel….to let your kids know that you hurt. It helps them understand that life can be hard some times…..it gives us the opportunity to share with them that even though we hurt right now….that we are working towards health….towards getting better.

It gives our children the opportunity to see that we think enough of them to let our guard down a bit….it let’s us share our feelings with our kids. It gives us time to bond….for them to see that emotions are important to all of us…and that it is okay to have emotion.

We teach our children by example….as much as by word. And…our kids are watching and seeing more than we can imagine.

Commitments

The other day received an email from the director of Children’s ministries at our Church notifying us of the retirement of the teacher and assistant teacher for the 4th/5th grade Walking By Faith class. Those wonderful teachers will be missed for sure! These Wednesday night classes are invaluable for our kids.

I cannot get the message out of my mind. I asked my son about it. I asked him if he thought I should step forward and offer to assist teach…..his eyes lit up with excitement…then suddenly changed…..he got so serious! “Mom! You are still recovering! You don’t have the energy yet to be ready to be there every week.”

Oh my! My serious boy! Classes don’t start for another month and a half……and the pull is just so strong. I went ahead and sent an email tonight….just throwing my name in the hat (as a back up) for the assistant teacher if no one comes forward for it.

I so badly just want to jump up and say…..yes…I will teach. I would love to have that opportunity. However, I also know I have to temper my enthusiasm. Keep with the “baby” steps…..keep moving ahead one step at a time.

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