I had so hoped that my health struggle was drawing to a close! Having gone through Pelvic Floor Syndrome, Spastic Colon, Spastic Sphincter, rectal prolapse, and colostomy…….then another underlying layer of IBS……I had hoped that I was done.
No! That was not to be the case! My body is out of control! The achy pain….the extreme fatigue….the heaviness of moving ones limbs! Man this is crazy!
I am anxious! I am ready to see my doctor this week. Tests so far have been negative. I know that what I am experiencing is not in my head. I know that something is not right.
I am ready to have additional input…..to undergo additional testing to know what could be causing this!
Part of me screams…ENOUGH! Yet….I know that we are promised that God will not test us beyond what we can endure. My prayer now is simply….God help me…give me strength!
I know that I have been given another task…..as of yet I do not fully understand…….all I know is that I am here. I will be fully present……I will give my all.
Through this I am still working….still teaching 4/5 grade youth group on Wednesday night, heading up the Altar Servers for our Parish and assisting with our son’s Cub Scout Den. I would not miss any of this!
I know that I have been Blessed! I am so thankful for the time that I have had and continue to have!
However, I must admit that I am tired……and a bit frustrated. Yet…..I must draw a deep breath! I must reenergize…..must ready myself! Another test….another “climb” is ahead!
God, please give me strength! Allow me to help those around me!