Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Why Me?

I find myself wondering this! I do not understand why I have been chosen for this path….nor do I understand why I have been “blessed” with the ailments that I have battled.

I continue to move forward….to trudge ahead…..day by day…..step by step! I cannot hide my grimaces…..my stumblings! My hubby and son are too bright! They can see through my attempt to cover the pain!

The smile and face that I show the world is not accepted by them! They see through the guise….they do not accept the “face” that I portray to the world. No matter how I try to hide the “truth”…..they see through it.

My hubby and son catch that sigh……that hesitation……..that slight hiccup…..when I try to move…..to shift……

I want to be strong for them! I want to feel that I am strong….that there is a reason for this additional trial…..this latest test. However, I am at a loss! I do not understand!

Pain is coursing throughout my body! It makes no sense….it shifts…..attempting to go about my obligations just exacerbates the symptoms! I struggle….and continue to struggle!

What am I to do? What is this illness….this condition that is trying to dictate my life?

I am researching….reading…..I am undergoing additional tests……

And the answer?

All I can say…is that….somehow…..God has selected this new path for me. Why? I guess I will know at some time in the future…..for now….I know….all I can do is to move forward. To put on a fresh face and move ahead!

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Comments on: "Why Me?" (3)

  1. Honestly, I just try to keep my head up. Wondering why starts to make me feel like I am being punished. Don’t worry about not being strong enough or not being able to do it all for your husband and son. They’re smart, like you said, so they know how hard you are trying. I’m sure you’re an inspiration to many in your life.

  2. Oh, I hear ya! đŸ™‚

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