My body is tormenting me! It is showing that it has the upper hand. My wrists, fingers, hips, feet, toes…..any movement of the joints is excrutiating. My arms, back and chest are burning. My arms and legs are aching…..stiff…..so hard to move with the muscle spasms!
Walk from the bathroom to the couch…..exhaustion! Today, I had to go to the post office…..then after work to the store! Thankfully I am enjoying the comforts of the couch with my heated blanket! I am completely worn out and exhausted! The week has been a very long one…..so ready to have a relaxing….at my pace weekend!
I feel trapped! Yet, I will not be owned by these conditions! I hurt….all over….feel completely miserable. Yet….happy to be home. I am anxious for my next doctor appointment. Ready for the next step…..
I know this is a long path…..it will not be easy…..the effort to get through each day….the pain/sensations are so different from anything I have experienced before. It is hard to explain.
I will not give in to discouragement…..I will not allow myself to get frustrated and depressed. It IS a constant battle at this point though! It is so hard….in the back of my mind I hear the questions….”Will you be able to hunt with your family? Will you be able to continue to work?…….”
Too many questions……my head can start spinning! I cannot predict where I will be in the next 3 – 6 months. I do not know how my body will ultimately respond to the different medicinal therapies that we will try…..
I can only focus on my family….on the loved ones around me……on the obligations that I have such as work….to distract….from my body!