I am so glad my body had held up as well as it has during this very stressful time!
My baby Sis, Carrie, died suddenly….tragically. I arranged for the transport of her body from hospital to funeral home, and assisted with setting up the graveside and Memorial services. I just kept thinking that “she would do this for me”!
Of course it has been difficult to eat….appetite has been nonexistent…I eat a little as I know I need too.
The funeral and Memorial were last weekend.
Now this week, I can tell that my body is succumbing to the emotional exertion….each day I find myself more exhausted….my Fibromyalgia and Polyarthralgia flaring….that nasty “Fibro Fog” blending with the overwhelming grief…..
No focus! Not for lack of want or will! Just the fact that all energy has been expended for the utmost honor….that of taking care of my Sis!
Today my legs were so hard to move! Walking 20 steps felt like miles….muscles in my left leg were knotted….completely unforgiving….my back was spasming! My brain was operating in a heavy fog.
Today my IBS finally flared too! The knots in my gut! Those nasty painful knots….the horrific pressure against my stoma! Feeling like I would explode!
Also dealing with those nasty phantom pains! Yes! The anus and rectum that no longer exist…..I can feel the pain as if it was still there! How is this possible ?!?! The brain is amazing! I just wish there was an “erase” button!
Now to rest….time to allow my body to catch up with my exhausted brain! To just take in all the emotions, the effort exerted to make it these last few weeks!