I am sure that I speak for everyone that is battling or has battled a chronic, long-term illness….when I say that there comes that time that you feel that you are completely exhausted…..feel totally overwhelmed by the pain…..feel frustrated at the length of time it takes to get medical diagnoses….
What little energy remains….is used as an attempt to cover how you really feel inside…..afterall….we do not want to upset our spouses….our children…..our family……our friends…..
Yet….you feel that dark cloud gaining strength…..you feel yourself starting to succumb……you look up to find yourself at the feet of depression…..knowing that it is so close! With no effort at all you could be overwhelmed…..completely enveloped.
This is the time that is SO very hard! It is the time that I find distractions….such as this Blog…..watching a crazy/silly show on TV…..taking a nap….or looking out the window at the wonderful colors of Autumn……can give me that touch of courage…..to not give in to the dark shadow that wants to envelope me.
Our battle with chronic pain/illness is on SO many fronts! It is not just the physical that we endure…..it is the emotional…..the mental…..the spiritual battles that are waged…..all at the same time……
Comments on: "At the Feet of Depression" (1)
Oh sister, I hear you on this! I sat there a few months ago and caught a glimpse of that black depression lurking as the corners of my awareness. And then, it came in like a tidal wave. I’m still clinging to a tree but I know I’ll be all right in time. It is so hard to fight these battles, just like you described day after day after day. For myself, I have learned to see my doctor and counselor as soon as I get a hint of depression. Maybe next time I can get a floodwall built more quickly! Wishing you well!