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Feelings of Failure

It is one of those days!  A conflict with my hubby has sent me spiraling….feelings of complete failure as a wife and mother have overtaken me…..

Overly sensitive?  Yes….because my body is overwhelmed…..I am all ready mentally on edge with so much energy being used to attempt (unsuccessfully) to ignore the pain and spams that have been wracking my body.

I know that EVERYONE who is or has dealt with chronic pain or chronic illness understands this…..the slightest hiccup can have an enormous effect!!  We then grapple with ourselves internally……utilizing the last bit of energy we can muster…..to get our “minds” back on track!

Afterall….I know that I am a good wife and mother!  I just do not “feel” that I am at this moment….or rather this morning…..it will pass….

This is part of that negative self talk that I had vowed I would NOT do!  LOL  See???  It is the course of life…..just as with our conditions……each day is wrought with challenges……

More challenges than those without a chronic condition could ever imagine……

It is times like this that I MISS my Sis….SO MUCH!  I could turn these feelings around so quickly just by calling her or texting with her to find out about her day….or her and her boyfriend’s latest outing……the perfect distraction to “derail” my internal struggle….

I know the feeling will pass…..I will get through this…..all will be well…..

Now….I am exhausted….the emotions involved in writing this…..use the last of my energy……time to curl up on the couch for a much needed nap!

I know then I will awake refreshed (at least a bit recharged mentally)!  I will once again regain the strength to continue my health battle….

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