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Day To Day

It is hard to explain the day to day of someone dealing with chronic pain/chronic illness.  No one understands…..these chronic conditions are always present…..they do not go away….there is nothing we can do to improve our day to day……

My Fibromyalgia/Polyarthralgia is STILL trying to dictate my life!  Today….it was amassing an amazing attack!  I could feel my body from head to foot…..my hands were cramping…..my legs and arms were spasming!  My feet hurt SO bad I could barely put pressure on them to walk!

SO frustrating!  It has not always been this way!  Yet this is how Fibro/Poly wants to show its control!!!!

I have been reading….and am anxious to learn more from the specialists that I see this week.  I am NOT willing to step aside….I am not willing to yield to this pain that is overwhelming me……

Somehow this HUGE struggle that I am enduring will be a benefit for someone……I do not know how or when….I just hope that someone….somewhere….will NOT have to go through this horrific ordeal!

I just cannot find the words to express the physical pain….the emotional tole…..that these chronic illness take.

The “normal” person has NO idea!  I guess….to those that have never experienced chronic pain/illness…..I can only say….close your eyes…..

“Yes…relax…..now envision your entire body aching…..throbbing…….imagine someone sticking icepicks all over your body in random places……

now….feel a massive burning sensation……can be your right or left side…..just imagine…fire engulfing your body……and someone sticking icepicks in your body…….

now add an intense heaviness…..that feeling of when you are asleep and dreaming…..a nightmare….from which your body will not awake……..

let’s add a knife stabbing….cutting through your calf…….now your hip….”

You….the “normal” STILL do not have a clue as to the day-to-day struggle that those of us with chronic pain/illness deal with on a daily basis!

The difference?!?!?!  YOU would never know!

WHY???  Because we smile….we do our best to go through our day to day “musts”…..we do the best we can for our families…..we give ALL we have!!!!  We give it ALL to those that are closest to us….our spouses…our children….

The HORRIFIC battles we wage EVERY day are battled INSIDE!!!!

On the OUTSIDE we appear “normal”….yet….in reality…….WE are ANYTHING BUT!!!

To those….like me….battling…..HANG IN THERE!!!!  WE WILL make it!  We WILL see a better tomorrow!  Even if that tomorrow is a month….a year….a decade from now!

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