Living with Fibromyalgia/Polyarthralgia/Chronic Pain Disorder/IBS/etc. test us each and every day. We struggle with new symptoms….we struggle with sleep….we lose a part of ourselves as we push to regain some semblance of “normalcy”…..
I, for one, have a LONG way to go before I will be able to say that I am gaining on “normalcy”! LOL I am on the path….the long….hard….twisted path that each of us must travel. Each one is unique….some have more twists….some more hills….some more mountains to climb.
Now I find myself dealing with nightmares and dreams so vivid, I awake afraid…..I am afraid to sleep….for fear of seeing more of these! Yet….I know I must relax….comfort my inner child….and attempt to provide confidence to sleep…..at least attempt sleep as best as possible!
These dreams are a further realization of the battle that rages within my body. I am taking on all aspects of life in my dreams….from losing our home….to getting separated from my husband and son…..to battling zombies alongside my Sister who has passed (this is one of the rare GOOD dreams!)….to crawling through tunnels (I am claustrophobic)….to having no appliances (I am a permanent colostomate)….to death of loved ones…
These are more vivid than any I have ever had…..they develop during those rare hours of sleep…..followed by at least an hour of quiet prayer….to attempt to regain some calm….some hope of capturing a few more hours of rest…..
Another “battle front”….another symptom of a fatigued, overwhelmed body…..an over-reactive, hypersensitive body!
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