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Archive for June, 2016

My Dear Sis

Yes…it has been a year since you have been taken from us…to be delivered to our Heavenly Father!

Yet…all still seems strange…

The wind blows

The seasons have

Come and gone…

I need YOU today

Your voice and input…

Wise counsel

Always presented…

Not only to me

But to many…

Confidants are hard to find

Those true that will uphold

ALL secrets….

Every day we miss you

Your presence

Your influence…

I love you

I miss you

My precious Sis!

 

Rise Above

Living in constant, chronic pain

Requires all effort and energy

To get out of bed

To dress and ready for the day

…..to Rise Above the Pain

No plans made

The only thought

To manage…to make it through

To distract or shift focus

…..to Rise Above the Pain

Force myself to rest

To take time to stretch

To shift and shuffle step

From the back to chair

…..to Rise Above the Pain

The beauty of the day

Surrounds and uplifts

The gentle movement of air

From the fan

…..to Rise Above the Pain

The bright ray of sun

Coming through the window

Casting its rays

Across the room

…..to Rise Above the Pain

Bouncing across the floor

Racing toward the wall

Reflecting towards the ceiling

Filling the room with light

…..to Rise Above the Pain

The heart is lifted

The body revolts

The coursing pain

Attempts to overwhelm

…..to Rise Above the Pain

Prayers are answered

A warmth within

An inner strength provided

The welcome assist

…..to Rise Above the Pain

Fruit And Choices

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Living with chronic illness/chronic pain has been a gift …

God has so blessed me during this time…

It has NOT been easy…

So thankful for supportive family and friends…

I was reminded today

As we were joined by friends

I supervised from the seat of my RAZR…

Our lives bear fruit

As we were taught in Sunday School

The parable of the vineyard…

How the vines are pruned

To produce fruit…

I view my health struggles

As God’s pruning…

He has a plan for me…

Just as He does for each of us…

I look at the beautiful cherries

And am hopeful that

I will be blessed with fruit

That I will be able to

Offer hope to others…

The “Shocking” Side of Fibro

Now home after being gone for about one and a half weeks to visit family in Oregon….my body is very riled up (as expected)…

I had made the decision to take advantage of an opportunity to go to Oregon to visit family. Those with Fibromyalgia/Polyarthralgia/Chronic Pain Disorder/Etc. will attest….this was NOT to be taken lightly!  It was a decision that would absolutely increase my all ready out of control symptoms.

Yet…I know that I cannot miss out on such a valuable opportunity!  An opportunity to enjoy time with family….to have our son enjoy time with cousins…

It is important to make these tough decisions….resting beforehand as much as possible….and resting as best as possible while on the trip….

The hardest part is remembering to be extra patient once back home!  Whether you are like me with a body that is still out of control, or fortunate enough to have symptoms well managed, more than likely you will deal with a flare once home!

I have no idea how long my flare will last….will it be one week…two weeks….longer?  Only time will tell….

I do know that the entire ordeal was worth it!  Cannot live completely isolated in the house until my doctors and I can finally come up with something that will help to at least take the edge off the constant pain!

For now, I get to enjoy those fabulous “electric shock sensations”!  You know the ones that:

• Feel like an electric shock traveling through one’s body, sometimes accompanied by a “falling sensation”;

• Feel like pins and needles but more painful, alarming and pulsating;

• Jerks the joints of arms, legs, fingers and toes;

• Can come on at any time and is like a flash of light followed by electric shock tingling;

• Feel like “creepy crawlies” or ants crawling under one’s skin and causes the skin to tighten and jerk; and/or

• Feeling of twitching scalp along with facial twitching of mouth, eyes, and eyebrows.

 

Beautiful!


So glad that we were able to see your beautiful headstone Sis!

I as apprehensive and anxious…first visit since your graveside service…

Such peace…

Your nephew picked out the most colorful flowers for you! 

The bright colors…reflective of your life…so vibrant!

My heart was at peace…

For only your shell is in the ground…

Your strength, your boundless spirit…

YOU are in Heaven…

Watching and praying for us!

Love you…my precious!!

Hidden Blessings

The path of pain

Its winding trail

The upwards climb

The downhill slipping trek…

A gaze upward

Toward the brilliant blue

The warmth of the sun

Beating against skin

Sense of balance lost

On the ground…

A shake of the head

An inward groan

Yet small smile

Then a gentle voice

A strong hand offered

“Thank You”!

Back on feet

However unsteady…

The path continues

Twists and turns

The sound of water

Trickling over rocks

The gentle sounds

Of the babbling brook…

Again the sound

Distracts the body

On the ground

Not knowing how

Again crumpled

A slight shake of the head

Managing a smile

While summoning strength

To once again stand…

A gentle hand

Touching the shoulder

The wanting to wince subdued

A gentle turn

Hand outstretched

To gently be drawn

Back to your feet…

The path inevitably

Leads you home

To seek rest

To hope to restore

Some type of strength…

A simple knock

A shuffle to the door

Smiling faces

“Thinking of you”

Welcomed in

To share a few words

To sit as companion and friend

To offer a prayer and hug…

These are but a few

Of the “Hidden Blessings”

Of chronic pain…

Incessant Pain

Think of these synonyms: ceaseless, unceasing, constant, continual, unabating, interminable, endless, unending, never-ending, everlasting, eternal, perpetual, continuous, nonstop, uninterrupted, unbroken, unremitting, persistent, relentless, unrelenting, unrelieved, sustained…

Yes…any one of these words is the perfect description of our life with Fibromyalgia/Polyarthralgia/Chronic Pain Disorder/ and the like!!!

Having had my second Ketamine Infusion just shy of one week ago…I have not noticed any reduction in any of my symptoms….actually…it has been the opposite.  I have experienced some of the worst days ever!

To say “worst days”….hard to believe when I continue to deal with almost every symptom possible….so severely debilitating…..so frustrating….and at times….SO discouraging!!!

As I attempt to rest….relaxing in my recliner….I am nauseous from the pain…the burning…the stabbing….the throbbing….the spasms….the muscle cramps…..the numbness and tingling…..etc…

I placed a call and left a message for my pain specialist….I hope to hear something tomorrow….

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