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Archive for December, 2016

Body Aches

The warmth of the fire

Gently heating the room

Creating a cozy feeling

That relaxes the mind…

Sitting in the recliner

With feet elevated

To best calm the stabbing

To help rest the throbbing

And aching that permeates the body…

Light pours through the window

Reflections from the snow

Ever brighten the early morning

The sun hidden behind the clouds

As if wrapped in a soft gray blanket…

Thoughts race in the mind

As ears ring in a deafening tone

Increasing in intensity

No amount of distraction

Can calm the turbulence within…

Eyes and heart are smiling

At the beauty of the day

The memories of a year almost done

Distractions viewed with appreciation…

Renewal

A new year approaches

Hopes and opportunities abound…

As the current year comes to an end

We look back at the many twists and turns…

The struggles that have made us stronger

The events that have brought us closer…

What will the new year bring?

No one knows for sure…

Yet our hearts are filled with hope

With light hearts and open eyes…

We embrace the start

Of a year not yet written…

It is a renewal of sorts

To take place on another stage…

The paths that will open before us

The mountains we will climb…

The challenges that await us

Along with the joys and laughter…

Our illnesses and conditions

Will continue to be with us…

As we continue our battle

Our eyes more alert, our resolve strengthened…

Let us take advantage of this new year

To choose to be positive…

To resolve to appreciate those dear to us

To take every opportunity to say “Thank You…

To embrace our loved ones and friends

To say “I love you” with sincerity…

To refrain from anger

Instead breath deeply and count to ten…

To really listen to what is being said

Rather than thinking of what we will say…

To pray with our entire being

Instead of uttering memorized words…

To share smiles and laughter

To not allow pain to be our master…

To be thankful for our life

To embrace each door opened by Heavenly Father…

Knowing that He is with us

Every step of our journey…

Remembering the scripture, Isaiah 40:31 KJV:

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

We may not be able to walk far

We may be confined to our bed…

We may find ourselves fatigued

Unable to keep our eyes open…

Know that our spirit is renewed

Granted strength from Heavenly Father…

We can pray for those around us

We can lose ourself in reading the scriptures…

We can remember the trials of Job

And know that we are never alone…

So as this new year approaches

Let us each take pause…

 

To awake each day

With a thankful heart…

A Cross

A cross is more than a piece of jewelry. It is a sacred object to many Christians as it stands for the ultimate sacrifice…that of the only begotten Son of God, Jesus Christ. Upon that cross, he suffered and died…taking on all of our sins (past, present and future) as well as experiencing all pain and anguish.

Many choose to wear a cross…there are many reasons why.  A cross is worn to show our Faith in God…it is worn to remind us of Christ’s suffering…it is worn to remind us that we have been forgiven and now have a direct relationship with our Heavenly Father…it can be a treasured possession given to us at our baptism by a dear friend or close family member…whatever the reason…it holds a special meaning to the wearer.

I know that I wear a cross with an emerald in the center. I wear it because it reminds me that there is nothing that I will bear, be it pain, disappointment, setbacks, that Jesus Christ has not dealt with on a greater scale.  It reminds me that Heavenly Father will not test me beyond what I am able to bear through His strength. The emerald is for my Sister…a wonderful reminder that she is with Heavenly Father…looking down on us…praying for her loved ones and friends.

 

Phantom Pain

I am amazed by the power of our brains!  The fact that our brain fully “remembers” that functional body part that has been removed…that it can make us feel the pain and/or other sensations that existed when that body part was a part of us.

The fact that those neural transmitters can at random bring all those sensations to “life”. I am thankful that these sensations truly do fade over time.  I now deal with them them only when I have been greatly stressed or extremely worn out, and they fade faster now.

I had read about phantom pain…and for a while…I did not believe that it would ever let up!  LOL  Yet…it does…so if you are struggling with this…know…that it will improve!

The Unexpected Joy

While in town last week after my doctor appointment, my husband and son went into a family owned feed store. They happened to have this beautiful, white female boxer pup…with the most brilliant blue eyes…they kept talking about her.

When I woke up Monday morning, I felt some strength and had a bit of focus. The last two weeks of not feeling well, Fibro flares, IBS-C flares, and head cold….then finally starting my new medication dosage (which completely knocked my out)….had finally loosened their grip for a brief time.

I took advantage….and once hubby was a work and our son at school….I snuck into town…and with the help of the wonderful, courteous staff…this beautiful pup was loaded up and ready to head to her new home!

Needless to say, our son was ecstatic!  Our lab was pleased to have a little one around…and Sadie has blended right into the family.

It has been such a blessing! She has brought wonderful distraction…endless snuggles…and many laughs as she and Chrly wrestle and play.

It has truly helped increase the joy of this wondrous Christmas Season!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Limitations

It is disappointing as we struggle within our limitations.  Limitations that have been imposed upon us by ill health…whether it be Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, etc. I am not suggesting that we are always disappointed or unhappy…not at all! Disappointment is a poignant visitor in our lives.

The medications that we take interact with our bodies and our conditions in a number of ways. For instance, when switching up doses or adjusting to a new medication, I often deal with the inability to stay awake. We can make tentative plans…only to find that I have curled up in bed and can not awake in time.

This used to really bother me. It often left me feeling guilty…feeling like a flake…or feeling that I have let my family down. However, I have come to the realization that this is just another aspect of my conditions showcasing my limitations. This can be interpreted in either a positive or a negative way. It is MY choice in how I react to these limitations.

During this most recent incident, I simply said a quiet prayer…something like, “Heavenly Father, you know my desire…” Truthfully, that is as far as I got before falling into a very deep slumber! I awoke hours later…to find that my husband and son had not yet eaten lunch.

We had missed an opportunity to get out and join friends for Church, however, I did have the opportunity to eat a quiet lunch with my family…and to enjoy a relaxing afternoon with them. No one was frustrated…they understood that my body was demanding sleep. I was not frustrated….I was disappointed, yes….but I know that there will be other opportunities!

I have learned to be a lot easier on myself…to not be so judgmental or harsh on circumstances that are truly out of my control. I know that my heart and mind are in the right place…even if I can not get my body there!  LOL

A sense of humor is a must for us as we deal with these situations….as we are reminded of our limitations. Yes…my body will always have the last say…I will continue to make plans and to find that I am not always able to go through with them. That is just one of the many lessons of living with chronic health conditions.

Medication Update

After battling insurance and going back and forth with my pain specialist’s office, I was finally able to have the extended release of the medication my specialist wanted me on filled!

The entire ordeal was VERY exhausting…both mentally and physically!  The relief I felt once I held that bottle in my hands was overwhelming!

I am anxious to get the next few days under my belt to see how my body reacts to this new schedule.  As expected, I have been much more sleepy than normal…unable to keep eyes open…so curling up in bed for unscheduled naps.  This is how my body reacts the first 4-5 days…should then settle in to a better routine.

My pain specialist has also supplied additional information to insurance regarding the pain pump trial. That battle is taking quite some time. My insurance will change up come January so will be interesting to see if we have to start from zero or be able to resubmit the package they have assembled to the new insurance.

I am still amazed at how insurance dictates the treatments/therapies that the doctors/specialists prescribe for their patients!  How insurance can have such power with NO relationship with us, the patients, just blows me away!

Thankful for the moment though!  I am eager to see if we might have found the right combination of medications for me…at least until we can attempt the pain pump trial.

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