Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Archive for October, 2017

Tummy Trouble

It is amazing how far I have traveled on this path of chronic pain and illness.  The pain pump has been a major milestone!  It has given me the ability to determine where my pain and discomfort is coming from…rather than the symptoms just shouting over each other to be heard.

Almost two weeks ago, I was able to explain to my GI Specialist my abdominal issues with specific symptoms! With my complicated history which includes Pelvic Floor Syndrome, rectal prolapse, spastic colon, permanent colostomy (sigmoid colon and rectum removed), and IBS, it provided the glimpse that he needed to best determine the next step.  I will be undergoing a Gastric Emptying Scan next week to determine if my stomach is working properly…must determine just how much of my GI tract is involved.

I am anxious to find out if the malfunctions of my lower GI tract are “isolated” or if my upper GI tract is also involved.  Another crucial piece of my medical conditions will be better understood!

As so many of us with chronic conditions know, it takes time to put all pieces together.  It takes so much effort and energy to get diagnoses due to whatever symptoms are screaming the loudest!  Living with Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, Somatic Symptom Disorder, Neuralgia, Postherpetic Neuralgia, Paresthesia along with the above referenced GI disorders make determining the origin of symptoms extremely difficult.

So many years…so many doctors…so many appointments…not to mention the tests and imaging/scans!  This path of chronic illnesses and conditions is not easy…there are no easy fixes…it forces us to rediscover ourselves while it strips us of the lives we had.

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Morning Majesty

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Viewing the awesome landscape of the early morning with the chorus of “Amazing Grace” playing in my mind…

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.”

The gift of a new day with just a hint of God’s power and majesty on display.

A Sense of Humor

Struck by the irony

I couldn’t help smile

Another lesson learned

With laughter from my mouth…

I knew this flare would hit

That it was going to overwhelm

No matter the preparations

No amount of rest would change it…

This morning I was given a gift

Unexpected and of great impact

Providing a brief window

To step outside of the intolerable pain…

I had done my part

Resting as much as possible

In anticipation of riding in the rig

To enjoy some time with my hubby and son…

There is truly no way to prepare

My body is its own prison

Yet it will not prevent me

From holding tight to opportunities with repercussion…

This path of chronic conditions/illnesses and pain

Is fraught with boulders, sheer cliffs, downed trees and more

Obstacles unimagined from the mind of health

It becomes the ultimate learning tool…

With overwhelming pain

Stabbing, searing, burning and tearing

Stomach cramping, blurry vision and headache

Lying down and praying for relief…

This flare will ease in time

Symptoms will once again manifest

In a more “orderly” fashion

Depending upon the combination of conditions…

I had gone to bed early

Anything touching my skin

Exacerbating my pain level

Simple prayer to beg for rest…

I knew I would be home bound

Legs heavy with slow methodical gait

Symptoms scream at the top of their lungs

A brief thought of riding in the rig…

Images immediately flash in my mind

Like viewing a video

I see myself saying a simple prayer

I am reminded of my promise to rest…

Caught and called out

I laugh and nod my head

Again amazed by an awesome God

Who shared some humor with me…

 

Laser Focus

Beware of the steady focus on pain alone

For pain is not the only symptom we battle

Yet pain’s voice can be the loudest

Blaring over all others…

Or worse yet, swallowing them into itself

The headache, the abdominal cramps, the stabbing in the feet

Forced to feed into the great voice called Pain…

Those with softer voices yet carrying horrifying weapons of their own

Like bloating, muscle spasms, brain fog, blurry vision, burning sensations

Are carried away on pain’s current, and its need to be in the forefront…

We must remember each one of our conditions

For each one carries its own set of symptoms

Oftentimes overlapping thus covering up the condition responsible…

This masking and blurring, often made worse by our medications

Further weakens the voices the need to be heard and understood

To better assist us in dealing with what condition is truly at the front…

While remembering that each day, each moment

We have no control…none whatsoever…except how we deal with the voices

Attempting to listen harder so that we might better strike at the source…

Living with Hidden Conditions

The most difficult part of living with hidden illnesses/conditions like Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, IBS, etc. is trying to describe our conditions to those close to us.  I created the attached PDF to demonstrate how complex these conditions and their associated symptoms are…

LivingwithHiddenIllness

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