Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘abdominal pain’

Day To Day

It is hard to explain the day to day of someone dealing with chronic pain/chronic illness.  No one understands…..these chronic conditions are always present…..they do not go away….there is nothing we can do to improve our day to day……

My Fibromyalgia/Polyarthralgia is STILL trying to dictate my life!  Today….it was amassing an amazing attack!  I could feel my body from head to foot…..my hands were cramping…..my legs and arms were spasming!  My feet hurt SO bad I could barely put pressure on them to walk!

SO frustrating!  It has not always been this way!  Yet this is how Fibro/Poly wants to show its control!!!!

I have been reading….and am anxious to learn more from the specialists that I see this week.  I am NOT willing to step aside….I am not willing to yield to this pain that is overwhelming me……

Somehow this HUGE struggle that I am enduring will be a benefit for someone……I do not know how or when….I just hope that someone….somewhere….will NOT have to go through this horrific ordeal!

I just cannot find the words to express the physical pain….the emotional tole…..that these chronic illness take.

The “normal” person has NO idea!  I guess….to those that have never experienced chronic pain/illness…..I can only say….close your eyes…..

“Yes…relax…..now envision your entire body aching…..throbbing…….imagine someone sticking icepicks all over your body in random places……

now….feel a massive burning sensation……can be your right or left side…..just imagine…fire engulfing your body……and someone sticking icepicks in your body…….

now add an intense heaviness…..that feeling of when you are asleep and dreaming…..a nightmare….from which your body will not awake……..

let’s add a knife stabbing….cutting through your calf…….now your hip….”

You….the “normal” STILL do not have a clue as to the day-to-day struggle that those of us with chronic pain/illness deal with on a daily basis!

The difference?!?!?!  YOU would never know!

WHY???  Because we smile….we do our best to go through our day to day “musts”…..we do the best we can for our families…..we give ALL we have!!!!  We give it ALL to those that are closest to us….our spouses…our children….

The HORRIFIC battles we wage EVERY day are battled INSIDE!!!!

On the OUTSIDE we appear “normal”….yet….in reality…….WE are ANYTHING BUT!!!

To those….like me….battling…..HANG IN THERE!!!!  WE WILL make it!  We WILL see a better tomorrow!  Even if that tomorrow is a month….a year….a decade from now!

A Shell of My Former Self

This is the BEST way to describe how my Fibromyalgia and Polyarthralgia having me feeling…..

It was really brought home when out hunting with my hubby and son late yesterday afternoon.  I have a handicap permit so we drive…pull to the side of the dirt road and glass….then proceed.  Yesterday we came to a great spot where the road ended to just step outside of the rig to glass some ridges.

My hubby asked if I thought I could walk about 15 feet from the truck so I could have a better view of one of the ridges….and he and our son went a little ways further to watch a different ridge.

Needless to say….the walk was very slow to get there…then I could only stand for a few minutes…..had to kneel down…..the effort of holding my binoculars was difficult…..I just wanted to be able to glass….to watch the ridge line….

I had to give up within only about 5 – 10 minutes!  My hubby had to help me back to the truck….then I was able to lean on the truck to rest…..attempted to glass a while more…..

So frustrating to deal with HUGE slap of reality!  I am only a shell of my former self!  I used to be able to hike…at least a short ways!  Even with the chronic pain conditions I was dealing with.  Fact is…Fibromyalgia and Polyarthralgia ARE SO radically different!!!

My conditions are still out of control. I am awaiting the appointment with my Rheumatologist to go over all the tests and imaging reports.  I am anxious to see if there are other conditions that are helping to confuse the situation!

My chest and arms are burning….arms, legs, hips, hands, feet, hips and back are hurting/aching SO deeply!  It IS overwhelming…..and the memory issues have not improved at all either…..

Struggling through each day….as so many of you know….is BEYOND exhausting…..it takes everything I have to make it through the day….to attempt to participate….

There is NO easy fix….there is NO magic pill….it IS a long…hard road…..I just keep my eyes fixed on that future day….when I will be able to walk (even a short distance) to sit and glass….with my hubby and son…..enjoying the time in the outdoors….

Blessings Around Us

I had hoped to be able to help others dealing with a sudden illness, surgery or dealing with a chronic health condition by starting this Blog. I have found so much more!

The friends I have made….fellow bloggers dealing with their struggles…..each offering inspiration….sharing encouragement…..sharing themselves. What a wonderful blessing you all are!

Other blessings of course….my husband…..my son….our families (parents, brothers, sisters, sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, cousins, Aunts, Uncles).  Our friends……our Church  family……I am so blown away by the loving support!

This struggle with pain has opened my eyes to a deeper appreciation for those around me.  I am awestruck and humbled by all the support I have received and continue to receive.

I am deeply appreciative and thank God for everyone whose lives I have been blessed to touch.

Each day when eyes first open…..breath in the sweet air…listen to the sounds all around….and submerse yourself in all the wonderful blessings around us!

Post Op Appointment

It was a good post op appointment!  Body is on track…..will definitely be a full 6 week recovery due to all the docs did during my lengthy procedure!  Received a copy of the pathology report….I like to review and read all the details.  They removed 59 grams tissue/tumor/organs….Crazy!  In addition, I know they removed a lot of adhesions.

Always nice to have the reassurance that the current discomfort or pain is the body’s response of the surgery.  Also reiterates how much was done by the doctors during the 4 hour procedure.

Doctor is still very concerned about residual nerve pain.  She is crossing her fingers and is waiting for the six month mark. I am at such a high risk for a long-term nerve condition.  I appreciate her concern and most importantly….her candidness!

I am once again so impressed with the quality of care from my doctors and nurses.  I am also so grateful for family and friends who are such a support during all this craziness!

Dealing with Nerve Pain

Had a good doctor appointment today. Indications are that the current pain and discomfort in my abdomen is nerves continuing to fire even though the internal problem is taken care of.

I had additional lab work done (want to rule out a kidney infection also). Will still have several ultrasounds next Monday….they want to make sure that there is not something hidden and follow up appointment on Thursday.

I am now taking on of the Neurontin meds….will be ramping up to dosage doc thinks will help to knock this out! Fingers crossed! Would love to have the last of this roller coaster finished!

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