Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘communication’

“Baby Steps”

My Pain Specialist keeps telling me “baby steps”.  I must focus on each day alone…allowing my body to set the pace.  Having a goal (i.e. 4 laps of the house) is good…yet must taper with where body actually is (i.e. 2 laps of house a day).

zcXeXAxgiRemember, each activity that is performed during the day…each one is exercise. These include getting dressed, fixing breakfast, cleaning dishes or just prepping them for dishwasher, feeding dogs, brushing teeth, washing face, shower (when enough strength), letting dogs out, walking lap of house, laundry (non shower days), heating lunch, prepping/making dinner…

Balanced with the necessary breaks — sitting in chair with ice, using ball for feet, laying on the couch, prayer time, reading, watching TV, computer time…

adult affection baby casual

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

God placed the perfect image into my mind!  I was taking my first steps…true “baby steps”…my little hands grasping large, strong hands.  My steps erratic and unsure…just driven by instinct to push through.

“Baby steps” are just that! The small steps taken by toddlers not slow paced adult steps! This insight has provided such a sense of calm, as I am further reassured that Heavenly Father is with me, assisting with my chronic health battles.

I azcXeXAxgim no longer viewing my activity level and where I am currently based upon “normal” perspective.  I am not recovering from an injury.  I have permanent health conditions that severely impact my quality of life.

Viewing my situation with this “new normal” in mind has truly lightened my load!


“Squirrel” Brain

This title makes me smile

As I attempt to relay my reality.

Complex sentences, vibrant words

I can see and feel…yet not express.

Words jumbled and sentences started

To be left hanging as I slowly shake my head.

Fibromyalgia and many of its “companions”

Overload my brain causing words to collide.

I pray for grace and strength

As I struggle to remain calm.

Images of “how it used to be”

Flashing in my mind’s eye like lightning.

Simple conversation and odd pauses

Exasperated by stress…good or bad.

Typing helps bridge this divide

As words appear on screen…

At the onset I had given myself permission

To write as if there were no grammatical rules.

My mind goes to our son when a Tiger Scout

An active mind so easily distracted…

Another mother summed it up — “Squirrel”

Attention span gone, the hunt is on.

Flighty and crafty, darting about

On the search for one of its stashes.

I smile when our teenager gently corrects

Better yet when he supplies the word I am unable to find.

Chronic illnesses/conditions force reform

Reminded of how we are but clay in the Potter’s hand.

Let go the frustration

Dive deeper into prayer…

Handing over the reigns

Trusting with our heart.

Deep breath taken

And laugh at the squirrel.

© Stacey deSoto — 2018

Living with Hidden Conditions

The most difficult part of living with hidden illnesses/conditions like Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, IBS, etc. is trying to describe our conditions to those close to us.  I created the attached PDF to demonstrate how complex these conditions and their associated symptoms are…



There has been a lot of stress at work due to coworkers giving notice and the subsequent hiring and training involved. As the office Manager, the training falls squarely on my shoulders. As any of you in my position know, you get to balance doing your workload while training and making sure that everything else necessary to run the office is taken care of.

Add to this scenario, our outside activities ramping up…..son now in Karate, Wednesday Night Church (Youth Class), and Cub Scouts…..not to mention it is now Blacktail season…..so we are trying to get some hunting in as well.

You guessed it! I have caught the cold/crud going around our area! Thursday late afternoon, I could feel the tell-tell scratch in my throat…..then the headache and nasty pressure in my sinuses. I came home and said that I am definitely sick! Our son asked “you’re sick?” And I told him yes.

The next morning I could tell that he was a bit worried. He asked me a couple of times “are you okay?” Then it dawned on me! He was worried that I was “sick” again! He was not understanding that all I am dealing with is a simple, head cold/sore throat.

I was able to calm his fears quickly. “No, I am not having problems like before! I have a head cold and sore throat…..my body is just tired from this…..and my body does not like the medicine that I have to take for the symptoms.” There was immediate relief on his face! “Oh! I thought you were “sick” again, Mom!”

Oh he questioned me Friday when I got home about how I was doing. He was glad to see that I sat under a blanket and rested Saturday….he did check on me……kept track of how I am feeling……it is without that serious worry now though.

And, yes…..I learned a valuable lesson! I need to take the time to explain to him what is wrong if I am not feeling well. Even though I have had a great year…..(no surgeries or serious incidents)……all that I have been through is still very fresh in his mind. More than I had realized!

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