death of a sibling | Mom Is Sick -- For Parents & Kids

Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘death of a sibling’

Living with Chronic Pain Conditions

Words cannot explain the feeling of pain throughout the body…day and night. No positions help relieve.

Hard to express the feelings of dealing with this every day…minute…hour…month…year. It is all consuming!

I praise God for strength that is given to make it through the day. I focus on my family…wonderful Hubby, son and step son!

It is so unreal! Why so much pain and suffering? Yet you Our Lord went through so much more!

I praise God for each day and enjoy every moment with everyone!

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hidden conditions

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Loss and Dispair

I am reeling from the news of my sister-in-law passing yesterday.

I am a jungle of feelings, lost and torn.

Having to call my Son to give him the news. Not being face to face to hold him as he cried.

Knowing he will see is Uncle soon helps.

We just cry out “WHY”!

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hidden conditions

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Change

A new day dawns

Casting its colors

Upon the land…

Lush greens shine

Dew shimmers

Brightness everywhere…

Birds calling

Break the silence

Squirrels jumping and running about…

Leaves are brilliant

Extending their arms

Branches now vibrant with life…

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hidden conditions

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It was 5 years ago today that my parents received the call. Carrie and Billy were in an accident. Carrie died at the scene and Billy was in hospital. All I could think of was getting to the hospital to see both of them! Just wanted to give Billy hugs and talk or sit.

Ally was able to meet me at the hospital to go in and see Carrie. Very emotional yet so reassuring! We could both tell that she is in heaven and just a shell remains.

Her Celebration of life and burial were amazing! All of those whose lives she had touch! Those from the law firm where she had been hired arrived in a bus! So many friends and family! Truly touched me.

Fast forward to today.

Our hearts will feel heavy today as someone so dear so endearing would be taken from us.

Yet Carrie’s legacy is living on through our memories, pictures, stories and her Memorial Scholarship awarded each year by University of Oregon Law School in her name. Students learn about Carrie and for 3 years now have been award the scholarship in her honor. Each one is touched by Carrie and so thankful!

I love seeing her picture and that smile! I will always hear her laugh and voice in my heart. She is part of us and always be so!

Love you forever and always Dear CareBear…

Category:

chronic pain, hidden conditions, hidden illness

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Heartache, Struggle, Persevere

How dare you begin with such a roar!

This month of May is a Lion…

Roaring, growling and then standing proud.

No matter how hard I try to prepare

The end of April starts the roller coaster.

Seasonal allergies will kick in…

Like a last ditch effort to switch gears.

The pinched nerve in my back reared it’s head

Hoping to derail the oncoming storm.

This year was different!

The anniversary of your death, Dear Sis,

Felt like a fuzzy blanket

Wrapped tight about.

The ache of your absence still strong

Yet ever stronger the feeling of your presence.

Within a handful of days

Wishing Mom and Dad “Happy Anniversary”!

Then the greatest news from U of O Law School,

The first Carrie Murray Memorial Scholarship has been awarded!

Wave after wave of emotions…

Crying…laughing…singing!

Your birthday is just around the corner…

I see those brilliant blue eyes

Filled with a true zest and love of life.

Memories will continue to flood our minds

Strengthening our resolve

To celebrate your life and memory.

You are watching from above

Your touch felt by ray of sun or touch of breeze.

Love you, forever and always, CareBear.

Category:

chronic pain, hidden conditions, hidden illness

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The Lesson of Pain

What is the lesson?

What am I to learn?

What am I lacking?

What do I need to improve?

Questions are reeling

Through my mind….

Prayers are said

In complete earnest

Seeking understanding

Knowledge and discernment…

The reason for this path?

Why was this dictated to me?

My Sister always said

I was strong….

I do not feel that…

Weak and broken

Those are the best description…

Will I ever understand?

Will the knowledge

Be granted after death

When I stand before

Our Great God and Judge?

Will I be allowed

To impact…to share….

To somehow assist…

Another on this

Long journey?

Is this the

True lesson?

To know pain

In an intimate way…

To experience pain

In all its magnitude…

To better understand

My neighbor and friends

For having travelled

Where so few

Have truly dwelled…

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Uncategorized

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Four Walls

For many of us, the excitement in the day is a visitor at the door or the chance to go for a ride in the car…exhausting as either of these events can be. It is an opportunity to connect with the outside world….the world that we only see via computer, TV, or reading….

We see the world outside the window….we might even be able to step out onto the deck or porch to sit for a short while…to feel the fresh breeze on our skin….to feel the warmth of the sun….

On some days we may not be able to walk farther than the restroom or the couch…we are forced to rest….to lightly stretch…to attempt to engage our minds somehow….

This past year and a half, especially, has really been an eye opener for me. I had always pushed myself….doing as much as possible…no matter how much pain I was experiencing….yet I have found a blessing in being forced to be homebound.

It has opened my eyes to be more sensitive to others….to appreciate those that take the time to stop by and “check in”….to treasure the opportunities to sit outside or go for a ride…I understand the increased pain or symptoms brought by these.

I see the importance of visiting those that are homebound or shut-ins…a ministry that is often neglected….not intentionally of course….just not on the forefront…

I have a strong desire to become involved to help others experiencing this….I don’t yet know how….at this point I can only encourage those that do stop in…to let them know how important their visit is…

I hope to regain enough strength….to regain my ability to focus….to not suffer so badly from Fibro Fog so that I can offer to visit others…(this is my dream….a lofty goal).

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Always in My Heart

The moment you entered my life

My first impression of you curled in that bassinet

Will be forever frozen in time…..

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I close my eyes to see

The curly blond, blue eyed toddler

Smiling as she gives me a gift of painted rocks….

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I feel the rain

As we traipsed through

The streets of Washington, D.C….