The soft white flecks
Growing in size
Cascading and dancing
Their way to the ground…
Glistening in the sun
Reflecting such brightness
In silence covers
All as a blanket…
The dancing snowflakes
Caught by the breeze
To and fro
Up and down…
Their brothers and sisters
As a soft blanket of white…
Yes…it has been a year since you have been taken from us…to be delivered to our Heavenly Father!
Yet…all still seems strange…
The wind blows
The seasons have
Come and gone…
I need YOU today
Your voice and input…
Not only to me
But to many…
Confidants are hard to find
Those true that will uphold
Every day we miss you
I love you
I miss you
My precious Sis!
I had the BEST thought…something I knew would be important for others struggling with Fibromyalgia/Polyarthralgia/Chronic Pain Disorder/IBS and the like……
Hello “Fibro Fog”!!!! I have no idea what my “brilliant” thought was! LOL I am now lost….lost in the quagmire that is my mind…..as if quicksand sucks the thoughts before they solidify!
This is the everyday frustration of those of us suffering from these chronic illnesses/conditions…..
We are trapped…NOT just by our bodies and the variety of symptoms that accost us on a day to day basis……..we are also dealing with our MINDS…..our very thoughts are taken from us before we can fully understand them!
I cannot tell you how many times I will make the same statement….or ask the same question of our son! Thankfully….he is extremely patient! He understands that “Mom is sick!” He will just roll his eyes…..smile and make a face…..then say, “it’s okay Mom.”
No matter what I do…I cannot recall my thought…..the thought that would help others like me! I am just left with the frustration……and am forced to just smile! After all….this is the #1 issue that those dealing with Fibro and associated illness/conditions must realize….
We will be faced with SO many times……the many times that our minds “give out” on us! When we are left to feel like we are “losing it!” LOL
Take a deep breath! You are NOT losing it! I know….I am here….I have “lost it”! I know that it is impossible to remember what just came to mind….that we will not be able to retain a thought….even if it is just a few steps to our notebook, iPhone, iPad, or the like….
You and I are trapped! We are caught in a vicious cycle that our conditions have directed. Yet…I know…somehow….this cycle will be broken! There will come a day that I will be able to remember a thought after taking 5 steps….or after simply turning around…
I chose to believe that God has chosen me….for some strange reason….obviously He knows more than I……
He believes that I am up to this test!
Yet…I know….that only with God’s help will I make it through this!
Definitely have my work cut out for me! Doctor said to really start paying attention to my body…..to better understand how my daily activities and lifestyle affect my symptoms…..how to best manage exercise, work, son’s activities, assisting at Church, etc…..how to pace myself.
The diagnosis of Polyarthralgia and Fibromyalgia took me by surprise for sure! As I learn more about these conditions, it does make sense that I would be given this additional journey.
The years of severe chronic pain…..the pelvic floor syndrome…..the extreme spastic colon….IBS……
Reading about these conditions and speaking with the Doctor still don’t prepare you for how the body acts! It definitely does not stress enough the fatigue….the overall, extreme fatigue that just envelopes you!
Going about the day….my arms and legs feel like I am pushing them through thick quicksand! Blowdrying my hair….my arms are limp as noodles! Exhausted! Yet the day has just begun!
I just continue to move forward…..movement as hard as it is……is my best hope. I know it is necessary for my health.
What I must learn is just how hard to push….how far to push……to determine the balance my body will need. I know this will not happen overnight. It took about 6 months for me to dial in my Low FODMAP diet…..and now with almost a year under my belt……my IBS is much better!
That gives me hope that I will somehow learn how to manage this new stage. Right now though my focus is how to deal with this overwhelming fatigue and overall discomfort!