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Vulnerability 

As we blog about our lives, our experiences, our hurts, our symptoms, etc. and the impact that chronic illness/conditions, we make ourselves vulnerable.  Vulnerable in the obvious way of “putting ourselves out there”….yet also to the remarks of others.

For the most part, I have been so thankful for the positive comments, the likes, the shares…that demonstrate that I am reaching others who are benefiting from my writing. 

I have chosen to use this format to also save what is left of my sanity. LOL  It allows me to vent my emotions, to vocalize the “hidden symptoms”, to educate others that are not chronically ill to better understand those of us that are…

It is still frustrating, even after all this time, when a negative or demeaning comment is made.  It can also feel like a knife to the heart or a punch to the stomach.  It can also make me angry…angry more at the fact that the person doesn’t understand the reason behind the writing.

I am not looking for a pity party…I am not looking for sympathy…

I want to impart understanding…to reach out to others like me that are dealing with chronic illness/conditions. 

It has helped me so much to read others blogs…to join on-line communities…to speak up for those that cannot vocalize their fears, their frustrations, their pain. I gain strength in the fact that I am not alone! This is what I want to share!

Missing You!

Version 2

It seems like only yesterday

I got home from school

To find Mom frantically searching for Dad

You were READY to enter this world.

I was anxious and nervous

Would I have another brother or

Would I have a Baby Sister?

We knew the answer would be soon.

The first time I saw you

Lying in your bassinet

So small, so fragile

Yet beautiful and full of life

We were all in love at first sight!

I taped ribbons to your head

So frustrated that others

Would refer to you as a boy

My mind screaming “Would a boy wear pink?!?!?!”

You were my shadow

Forever beside me….never giving any space

Especially when we visited Grandparents!

I can still feel you curled up against my back

No matter what I did

You would sleep NO other way.

Oh! To relive those precious days!

My heart aches

Tears flow

I cannot help it.

You had only just admitted

To the most wonderful event

Of the terrific man in your life.

I…we….were so proud of your accomplishments

First in Class as Graduate of Law School

Making huge impressions on your new law firm

The promise of such a bright future!

Yet…God chose to call you home…

The Angel’s hand you did grasp

To rise into the light

The peace…the tranquility

The overwhelming love

In being united with all those gone before

To be present before our Lord….our God.

I once again see those beautiful blue eyes

That bright smile

The kiss upon the precious forehead

Of the shell that had housed

My most, beautiful, wonderful, precious, Baby Sis!

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