Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘IBS’

A Golden Hue

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As I lie in bed

A soft glow comes from the ceiling

It resembled an oak tree near a building…

The building shimmered as the golden light

Glinted off the bronzed and gold accents

Ricochetting casting the light into the tree…

The leaves accented with this soft light

Every detail striking as if in full 3D

The branches a deep gold color…

The texture of the bark

The drizzle of light coming off the leaves

I find myself reaching up…just wanting to touch…

The image fades

My mind is left to reflect

The golden hues shared with me this morning….

“Baby Steps”

My Pain Specialist keeps telling me “baby steps”.  I must focus on each day alone…allowing my body to set the pace.  Having a goal (i.e. 4 laps of the house) is good…yet must taper with where body actually is (i.e. 2 laps of house a day).

zcXeXAxgiRemember, each activity that is performed during the day…each one is exercise. These include getting dressed, fixing breakfast, cleaning dishes or just prepping them for dishwasher, feeding dogs, brushing teeth, washing face, shower (when enough strength), letting dogs out, walking lap of house, laundry (non shower days), heating lunch, prepping/making dinner…

Balanced with the necessary breaks — sitting in chair with ice, using ball for feet, laying on the couch, prayer time, reading, watching TV, computer time…

adult affection baby casual

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

God placed the perfect image into my mind!  I was taking my first steps…true “baby steps”…my little hands grasping large, strong hands.  My steps erratic and unsure…just driven by instinct to push through.

“Baby steps” are just that! The small steps taken by toddlers not slow paced adult steps! This insight has provided such a sense of calm, as I am further reassured that Heavenly Father is with me, assisting with my chronic health battles.

I azcXeXAxgim no longer viewing my activity level and where I am currently based upon “normal” perspective.  I am not recovering from an injury.  I have permanent health conditions that severely impact my quality of life.

Viewing my situation with this “new normal” in mind has truly lightened my load!

 

Silence

As the snow deepens

The silence grows

As if time is standing still…

My mind is refreshed

As this quiet seeps to my core

Banishing all doubts and fears…

The clanging in my body

Fights the stillness found within

I close my eyes to return to the calm…

The falling snow builds

My mind again quiets

The screaming in my body subsides…

Such a blessing is granted

To reaffirm Faith that is tested

My soul is stirred…

Loss

As my body calms from the latest Fibro Flare with additional infections that I am prone to have, I am riding an emotional roller coaster.

I know that I am not alone…

We arise each day to slight differences in our symptoms. Our hidden illnesses and conditions exacerbate our pollen/tree/etc. allergies, or rather overly sensitivity to said allergies.  The beauty of Spring comes full during May…flowers, trees with blossoms, bees buzzing, birds chirping…

I am hit with emotions…

April is coming to a close…May is on the horizon.

I used to find myself reminded of the short rhyme — “April showers bring May flowers”…this is especially true of the Pacific Northwest.  I look out the window to see the snow loosing its grip on the mountain and see the many buds on the trees outside.  Yes, May is approaching quickly…too quickly…

This roller coaster of emotions is not new…it has changed over time…it will continue to impact in different ways.

I am not alone in feeling this sense of loss…raw emotion…tears welling…memories are stirred…

I do not want to be reminded…

I could feel your presence yesterday afternoon…I was given the greatest relief of my stresses/worries. I was powerfully overwhelmed by the greatest peace. I had to smile! I could hear my sister’s voice… “You are such a Dork!  Remember that you handed the keys to God. Now step back and listen.”

You always knew what to say…accented of course by the eye roll…or the slight throw back of the head…

We will relive those emotions associated with our loss and Heaven’s gain…

We will each celebrate the memory of your life…my dearest sister, Carrie Murray…while we embrace those close to us.

Love you, forever and always, Sis!

Let’s Own It

Here’s to all of you with chronic illnesses and conditions! During this latest flare (Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Piriformis Syndrome, IBS-C) plus additional infections (bacterial vaginosis and yeast infection), I looked at myself in the mirror and simply said:

“I am going to make sick look good!”

My chronic conditions have taken enough! I will embrace my “new” fragile self and continue to thank God every day for his strength and courage to allow Him to be seen through my weaknesses.

Hope

It feels like an eternity since I have written a health update!

Again, I must express my gratitude for my pain pump!  It is the reason that my Pain Specialist has been able to determine that I have Sciatica (both left and right side)…. Sacroiliac (right side)…and now Piriformis Syndrome.

A week from Monday, I will receive another injection to calm the Piriformis.  We are working towards improved function of my right leg.  I am sure many of you have dealt with the Sciatic nerve(s) acting up: burning, numbness, tingling, throbbing, stabbing, muscle spasms, etc.  My right leg from buttock to the tip of my big toe has been experiencing these symptoms along with being unresponsive at times –foot will drag or leg will not move when I tell it to.

The issues with my right leg have been a big problem for years now.  I had come to accept this as just one more thing to learn to live with…yet now more layers to my medical conditions have been uncovered.  There should actually be improvement to movement!

Struggle

The frustration is real even though progress is occurring. Sounds like a conundrum doesn’t it?

Injections for Sciatica have provided some limited relief…unveiling that I am also dealing with Sacroiliac involving my right leg. And, these new diagnoses have aggravated my Shingles…which also targets my right leg.

Needless to say my usual “companions” are quick to throw in their two cents…like I need to be reminded of my Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Spastic Colon, Pelvic Floor Syndrome, IBS and other conditions.

I have more to learn about the issues in my stomach that are leading to bloating and cramping (which are very scary with a colostomy); and, its interaction with my other conditions. Another diagnosis that will provide more information on how my body is “malfunctioning”.

It is frustrating to be home bound…yet, we are making progress in uncovering other conditions that have been masked by the overwhelming symptoms of Fibromyalgia and Polyarthralgia. (Thanks to my pain pump!)

It is discouraging to know that any time I leave the house it will result in a Flare. To be honest, just getting out of bed wrong can do the same!

The struggle continues…

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