Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘life with pain’

“Squirrel” Brain

This title makes me smile

As I attempt to relay my reality.

Complex sentences, vibrant words

I can see and feel…yet not express.

Words jumbled and sentences started

To be left hanging as I slowly shake my head.

Fibromyalgia and many of its “companions”

Overload my brain causing words to collide.

I pray for grace and strength

As I struggle to remain calm.

Images of “how it used to be”

Flashing in my mind’s eye like lightning.

Simple conversation and odd pauses

Exasperated by stress…good or bad.

Typing helps bridge this divide

As words appear on screen…

At the onset I had given myself permission

To write as if there were no grammatical rules.

My mind goes to our son when a Tiger Scout

An active mind so easily distracted…

Another mother summed it up — “Squirrel”

Attention span gone, the hunt is on.

Flighty and crafty, darting about

On the search for one of its stashes.

I smile when our teenager gently corrects

Better yet when he supplies the word I am unable to find.

Chronic illnesses/conditions force reform

Reminded of how we are but clay in the Potter’s hand.

Let go the frustration

Dive deeper into prayer…

Handing over the reigns

Trusting with our heart.

Deep breath taken

And laugh at the squirrel.

Pictures Tell Why

These pictures reflect the reason that we choose to join our families…our chronic conditions would prevent such moments.

Tummy Trouble

It is amazing how far I have traveled on this path of chronic pain and illness.  The pain pump has been a major milestone!  It has given me the ability to determine where my pain and discomfort is coming from…rather than the symptoms just shouting over each other to be heard.

Almost two weeks ago, I was able to explain to my GI Specialist my abdominal issues with specific symptoms! With my complicated history which includes Pelvic Floor Syndrome, rectal prolapse, spastic colon, permanent colostomy (sigmoid colon and rectum removed), and IBS, it provided the glimpse that he needed to best determine the next step.  I will be undergoing a Gastric Emptying Scan next week to determine if my stomach is working properly…must determine just how much of my GI tract is involved.

I am anxious to find out if the malfunctions of my lower GI tract are “isolated” or if my upper GI tract is also involved.  Another crucial piece of my medical conditions will be better understood!

As so many of us with chronic conditions know, it takes time to put all pieces together.  It takes so much effort and energy to get diagnoses due to whatever symptoms are screaming the loudest!  Living with Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, Somatic Symptom Disorder, Neuralgia, Postherpetic Neuralgia, Paresthesia along with the above referenced GI disorders make determining the origin of symptoms extremely difficult.

So many years…so many doctors…so many appointments…not to mention the tests and imaging/scans!  This path of chronic illnesses and conditions is not easy…there are no easy fixes…it forces us to rediscover ourselves while it strips us of the lives we had.

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