I had hoped to be able to help others dealing with a sudden illness, surgery or dealing with a chronic health condition by starting this Blog. I have found so much more!
The friends I have made….fellow bloggers dealing with their struggles…..each offering inspiration….sharing encouragement…..sharing themselves. What a wonderful blessing you all are!
Other blessings of course….my husband…..my son….our families (parents, brothers, sisters, sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, cousins, Aunts, Uncles). Our friends……our Church family……I am so blown away by the loving support!
This struggle with pain has opened my eyes to a deeper appreciation for those around me. I am awestruck and humbled by all the support I have received and continue to receive.
I am deeply appreciative and thank God for everyone whose lives I have been blessed to touch.
Each day when eyes first open…..breath in the sweet air…listen to the sounds all around….and submerse yourself in all the wonderful blessings around us!
I am sure that I am not the first nor the last dealing with long-term health issues that pushes too hard….to far…at times. Then of course…we do as I am now…”paying the piper”….sitting with the heating pad….knowing it really isn’t doing much….just not looking forward to the weight of a blanket on the side that cannot be touched.
I would do it again in a heart beat! I want to meet my obligations at work….there are set things that I cannot hand off. Then the most important part of the day comes after work! Watching my son play baseball! I know we will be disrupted by another hospital stay all to soon…I just cannot bear missing a moment cheering…..watching….participating!
I know tonight will bring little sleep. I will turn in into prayer and meditation time….afterall…just relaxing will help to provide energy for tomorrow. Tomorrow will be more low-key….no game…no important meetings at work…..just the best part of the evening…Cub Scouts! Smiling happy faces…the boys laughing and enjoying each other…learning and growing!
This is the daily struggle…the day to day that we “manage”……as we as parents…..manage our illness/sickness/pain…..our children do not realize the powerful role THEY play. Our kids are our inspiration…..our joy….our angels….that assist us each day. Overpowering the bad with the good….providing the “misdirection” that we need to lose focus on what we ourselves are dealing with….taking us “above and beyond”.
As anyone dealing with unanticipated health issues will know….or better yet experience….expectations…..OUR personal expectations of our treatments, tests, etc. change. In my experience, once one hurdle is met….the recovery begins…to be hit with another hurdle…..can be frustrating…disorienting. The best way to think of it is as a “roller coaster”. Only this time…it is not the exhilarating fun kind! It is taxing….it is wearing….it is disruptive. It makes life a challenge….it forces us to dig deep within ourselves to wear that smile….to go through the day-to-day motions.
It is hard to not be overwhelmed by this! I can best sum this up as my latest experience. I was feeling better excited about the pain-free life….to get back on track with all I wanted to do….exercise…prepping for our family outings. Then getting hit with the “truck”….the word “tumor”. The following discomfort, nausea, just overall “nasty” feel…….really took its toll. Seeing our son’s reaction REALLY took its toll.
Now….after fighting for this series of Lupron injections….I feel like a “Phoenix — Rising Above the Ashes”…..I am strengthened (although not feeling at all better)….ready to fight (yes more spring in my step)……..I am in control (no…not really…just…back in control of my emotions…..of how I am seeing my world and interacting with it).
Hang in there! Whether you view this as a “roller-coaster” or as “ebb and flow”……when we are hit with news….it takes time for us…as well as our family’s to adjust to the news. Once a path is started….empower yourself! Take control! Know that you and your medical team are working hard to do what is best for you.
Then….ENJOY your family! ENJOY your friends! ENJOY this precious gift we share…called life!
There is absolutely no doubt…out kids worry about us! When we have to go to the doctor or have to have tests it registers on their radar. However, it gets to them! They get overwhelmed.
Our son is SOOOO tired of me seeing doctors. He wants me to be me…Now! It hurts! I so want my body to cooperate with what we want. Another doctor appointment tomorrow….hopefully some answers. Hoping for reassurance that the nerve meds are the trick….just a matter of getting the right dose…and then getting back to our life.
I want to live up to the promise of camping at Dinosaur, CO with our son. He loves dinos…loves history…wants to be a paleontologist….he knows more about dinosaurs and prehistoric animals than I thought possible!
It is SO hard as a parent to see a child…your own child…in such distress. With the length of my issues, finally getting to him….not able to comprehend why Mom is still having problems. Afterall….doctors had me fixed….now more problems.
Best we can do..is let them know that we are frustrated and tired too. Let them know that we WANT to be healthy! We want to move forward with plans!
We too are human! We must share some part of our “humanness”with our kids……just let them know that we pray for an end to our trials. That we want to be well. And then, work toward small steps that we know that we can achieve…..like a weekend away as a family….or as in our case “Sleeping With The Sharks” at the nearby aquarium…so our son can feel “normal”….can forget that his Mom is sick…..
Moms and Dads…let’s be honest! As parents we want to be at our best always for our kids! We never want to admit that we do not feel good….let alone that our bodies are screaming at us to stop…we know that we have to keep going…our kids need us to continue on. We hide our tears…our pain.
We don’t want anyone to know how bad…or how hard it is for us to continue…to make it through the day. We can’t explain the pain…we can’t explain that we can’t tell you the truth….we can’t admit that we might want to throw up our hands. Never! We just smile…we move on…one step at a time. We draw our strength from those around us and our Faith. We know that we are not alone….that there truly is a purpose to what we are going through. God tests each of us…..how we respond is the key.
I might feel like crying at the end of the day….I won’t…I chose to attend Cub Scouts with our son after work. I wanted to be Mom…to be present…to see what he and his friends were doing firsthand…..No, I did not participate…thankfully, his Dad could….BUT I did not miss it!
Hang in there! Our daily struggles keep us human….we understand more than most the meaning of sacrifice…..and we also have the opportunity to demonstrate in so many ways that we love…that we are present…in the moment with our kids…..