It has been a long time…a very long time since I have given myself permission to remain in my pajamas for the day. Yet that is exactly what I did this morning!
The electric shocks continue to course through my body…my ears are ringing so loudly! Still! The oversensitivity of my chest is SO overwhelming! Words cannot express the pain that is permeating throughout my entire body…coursing through…causing waves of nausea.
Oh the joy of living with Fibromyalgia/Polyarthralgia/Chronic Pain Disorder/and the like!
I am doing what is SO difficult for each of us…I am giving myself a break! My symptoms are in control now…however, this is temporary! It may be tomorrow…the day after…or next week…it will come though!
I will awake one day soon with the notable absence of these terrifying shocks…the incredible “out of body” feeling…the deafening, high pitched screaming in my ears…
My only focus today…is rest…do not feel obligated…enjoy the comfort of pajamas…of a warm fire on a cold day…
The early morning light
Peering out between the clouds
The freshness of the breeze
Gentle against the skin
Like the touch of a loved one
Eyes close to savor the moment
The call of birds
The buzz of a lazy bee
The gentle roll of a fish
Its scales glistening
The water around gently rippling
Followed by silence
The quiet of the early morning
Senses aroused by the freshness
As nature awakens…
From last summer….the glorious Oregon Coast. I just love to sit near and listen to the rhythmic pattern of the waves washing against the shore….cascading onto the rocks.
Yes…today my body said enough! Enough with the touch of work you are attempting this week….enough with the walks you have taken….
A wall was reached today. Mind and body are spent…..amazing how our body’s just step up and say….”That’s it!”
It reminds me of how much energy my body is using to heal itself. Silent….steady….the body works hard to recover…..the owner of the body can be oblivious at times!
Feeling a surge of energy yesterday, I walked an extra lap around the house. I let myself walk down a store aisle yesterday….instead of riding on a cart!
Today my body says “I’m tired!” “We have done too much this week!” Even the careful baby steps….with the rest….with the caution exercised.
Sitting in my chair….relaxing with feet up…..I can’t help but smile to myself. I am reminded today, yet again, that I am not in control…..that I do not have power…..that I am physically quite limited.
These limitations and the tired…tired body….cannot hide the smile….the joy I have in watching my son dancing around the house…..watching his face light up when his Daddy asks him to go play catch outside…..to listen to his laughter…..
Yes….body is tired……mind might be a bit numb……heart is alive and well!