Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘phantom pain’

The Example of Job

A summary of the story of Job from SparkNotes: Bible: The Old Testament: Job reads as follows:

“He is “blameless” and “upright,” always careful to avoid doing evil (Job 1:1). One day, Satan (“the Adversary”) appears before God in heaven. God boasts to Satan about Job’s goodness, but Satan argues that Job is only good because God has blessed him abundantly. Satan challenges God that, if given permission to punish the man, Job will turn and curse God. God allows Satan to torment Job to test this bold claim, but he forbids Satan to take Job’s life in the process.”


I am sure this summary brings back memories of Sunday School, sermons, church camp and/or youth group. It may raise questions in your mind that were or were not answered. It may still have that element of surrealism, confusion or doubt that was initially in our mind. After all, this is a story of a man…a normal man just like you and me…being held up as a challenge to God by Satan.

Having been primarily homebound for just over two years due to my chronic health conditions, I have had a lot of time to pray, to surf the web, to read (when Fibro Fog is not  too thick), to watch TV… Distraction has been a powerful tool to assist with my daily struggles.

I have found that my perspective of God, Satan, and Job have changed during the many years of chronic pain and the plethora of symptoms that come with Fibromyalgia, Polyarthralgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, Neuralgia, and the like. This change of perspective  has come about because of the deepening of my Faith, of the miraculous events I have witnessed, and just the overall increase in knowledge that the journey of life has provided.

My thoughts of Job have changed from wondering how a good God allows evil and human suffering to exist or why God is so concerned with humanity while appearing to focus on our faults and punishing us to focusing more on the relationships that are in play.

Reading the story of Job with this adjustment to my mindset finds me awed by the friendship that Job had with God. Think of it! God was confident in the relationship that He had with Job!  Job was faithful in worshipping God, he prayed to God, he spoke to God — sharing his thoughts, fears, frustrations, joys, and disappointments.

Update on Pain Pump

At my appointment last week with my Pain Specialist, I found out that all had been approved…ready for the next step…the actual pain pump surgery! So I have been anxiously awaiting for the scheduler to call me.

This evening I got the call!  I am to go in for some labs (no fasting required)…and am scheduled for next Wednesday!  The time and further details to come via the nurse who will follow up with me between now and Tuesday.

Since today was a busy day, I will rest tomorrow and go in for labs on Thursday morning.  That will give plenty of time for the labs to be reviewed and to make sure that there is absolutely no reason to delay the surgery.

I do know that this will be an outpatient procedure…should be 4-5 hours…then able to come home.

Will post more once I speak with the nurse…and of course will discuss my experience with the actual procedure and the process to dial in the medication!

For now?  I am just in awe…amazed at how fast all is now moving!!!!

Phantom Pain

I am amazed by the power of our brains!  The fact that our brain fully “remembers” that functional body part that has been removed…that it can make us feel the pain and/or other sensations that existed when that body part was a part of us.

The fact that those neural transmitters can at random bring all those sensations to “life”. I am thankful that these sensations truly do fade over time.  I now deal with them them only when I have been greatly stressed or extremely worn out, and they fade faster now.

I had read about phantom pain…and for a while…I did not believe that it would ever let up!  LOL  Yet…it does…so if you are struggling with this…know…that it will improve!

A Tranquil Thought…


As I sit in my recliner…sipping hot water…my body further overwhelmed….reacting to the stress and the joy of yesterday….

My Ketamine Infusion that was supposed to happen today was changed due to the hospital changing its infusion scheduling….the closest hospital will now only due the procedure on Monday’s….I need to have it done on a Friday….my only choice is a hospital 1 1/2 hours away…

While trying to get this change of hospitals set up….I find out “insurance won’t cover”….I then call my insurance company….I know…you can feel the anxiety…the stress!  How many times have each of us had to contact insurance…to have to fight for a needed procedure/treatment/medication….oftentimes having to enlist the assistance of our trusted Doctor(s)….

All this happening on the day of a Track Meet for our son!  I am determined to not miss one of his track meets!  So…with the stress all ready wreaking havoc on my body we are off to his Track Meet!

Just before we got out of the car….I receive another call from my pain specialist’s office. All is working itself out! I will receive a call from the scheduler for the other hospital first part of next week.  My Ketamine Infusion will now be next Friday. All will be processed through insurance…

As my body experienced spasms, burning, numbness, tingling, pins and needles…I had the wonderful distraction of watching our son participate in the long jump…the 400…and the 800…

Today….brings the flaring of my IBS…along with even more Fibro symptoms…..

At least I can close my eyes and watch images of our son…doing his best…enjoying his first Track Season!

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