Embracing life with chronic pain.

Posts tagged ‘Relapsed rectum’

My “Ah-Ha” Moment

My guess is that everyone who is battling a chronic illness has had the moment of time that has provided an “Ah-Ha” moment….

By this I will say, that I had my true “Ah-Ha” Moment when I attended my doctor’s appointment this week with my husband.  It was a great doctor appointment.  The discussion was very good!  My husband was able to point out things…to ask questions…that further probed my doctor to direct other questions to me……which put a completely different light onto things!

I realized that I truly had not accepted my new condition…..that I had been resistant to the fact that my life from here on out would be different….that I no longer had ANY control.  In having this realization, I gained power.

My eyes were opened to the fact that my primary medication (Cymbalta) was helping a bit.  However, I was still pushing myself too hard!  And, that in pushing myself I was aggravating my condition even more!

I finally understood that walking the aisles of the grocery store is equal to a marathon!  That walking down the hall from the bedroom to the living room is like running a mile!  That drying my hair with the hair dryer is like lifting weights for an hour!

Yes!  Those of us suffering….enduring……living with….Fibromyalgia and it’s sister Polyarthralgia are forced to embrace a “new reality”!  

I walked away from my doctor appointment with a better understanding……realizing that it was time that I fully accept my condition….that I now have a different “way” to live.  My tomorrow has nothing to do with yesterday.  In the past, I might have pushed forward through pain to achieve a goal.  Now…..all the rules have changed.  

I now embrace the opportunity to be pushed in a wheel chair to conserve my energy…….I embrace the chance to be in one of the electric chairs……I park as close as I can thankfully to my handicap permit!

My doctor said to set a timer…..for every 30 minutes of activity there should be 10 minutes of rest.  Now….think of this!  How would you handle a given day in which you would have to stop every 30 minutes to have 10 minutes of down time?

Yes…pause….think about that.  That is what hit me!  I realized that I had to look at every activity as if it was excercise.  Any time I move, I am exercising! 

No wonder my body is revolting!  I have known nothing but “push…push…push”……. I have always given more than required……yes…this has further placed me in this position!

I am now in a position in which I cannot “push”….I cannot “make myself go beyond”…..my body has set a limit……it has SET a limit!

Fibromyalgia and Polyarthralgia are conditions that completely “take over” the body!  Every muscle, joint, tendon feels the pain!  The heavy weight…..the pain….the burning sensations…..are completely…..TOTALLY overwhelming!

This IS MY world!  This IS MY reality!

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