Those of us with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, Neuralgia and the like are dealt quite a handful of symptoms. The quantity of symptoms as well as the intensity vary from person to person. Although our conditions manifest differently, we can each relate having experienced the intense “Fibro Brain”…
Examples of “Fibro Brain” or “Brain Fog” that I have experienced:
- Forgetting what I was just told.
- Walking into a room, not remembering what I was doing.
- Forgetting to brush my teeth.
- Unable to find the dog brush, even though I thought for certain I put it away in the correct drawer.
- Walking to the bathroom and forgetting what I needed to do.
- Losing my phone…then finding I had placed it on the bed.
- Sitting down and realizing that I need to brush my teeth.
- Grabbing the lotion instead of the hair gel to put in my hair.
- Using the conditioner as shampoo.
- Using the shampoo as conditioner.
- Unable to focus for even a few minutes.
- Unable to watch a movie at a Theatre.
- Forgetting the note on my phone when at the doctor.
- Unable to find the batteries when staring right at them.
- Looking for my glasses (when they are on).
- Using the wrong name for items.
- Standing at the shower entrance and not knowing what to do next.
Of course, these are just a few of the many frustrating things that we deal with when we have Brain Fog. I find that the best thing to do is just smile or laugh…then do what you remember you needed to do!
The leaves shimmer
Moving up and down
Reflecting the brilliance of the sun…
Suddenly the branches join in
The smallest of movements
Grow into waves…
The hammock begins to sway
Gentle movements encouraged
By the unseen power of the wind…
My mind is drawn to a parallel
Of how our lives are influenced
By an Unseen Hand…
Some welcome the influence
Yearn to draw it closer
To strive to feel the push and pull…
Some are caught off guard
Stretched to the limit
To attempt to believe the unseen…
Still others are like stone
Unable to feel its touch
It goes unheeded as if not there…
The evidence is all around
It is in the smallest grain of sand
To the brightest star in the sky…
We need just close our eyes
And quiet our minds
To feel His presence…
Looking out the window
I watch the leaves dance
In the gentle breeze…
Moving to and fro
The shades of color shift
From dark to light and back again…
The sun’s rays make the leaves glow
Reflecting the rays like colored mirrors
The radiance adding depth to the color…
The rays permeate the trees
Cascading through the leaves
To dissipate into the depths…
My eyes are drawn back
To those top most leaves
Dancing with the rays of the sun…
I recently relayed a story to a friend of mine. Immediately following she asked if I had written about it on my blog yet…
A couple of weeks ago I received a phone call from my parents which was earlier than they would normally call. Of course, I was concerned that something was wrong so instead of answering the phone, “Hi There”….it was more like, “What’s wrong Mom?”. She quickly reassured me that nothing was wrong. She said that Dad had something he had to tell me.
With a huge sigh of relief, I waited for my Dad to come on the line. (Dad, if you are reading this…forgive me for my summarization!)
“Good Morning, Stace! I was reminded of something that was too long to text you about. It was when we were living in Gladstone; and, you were a toddler. Every day that I would come home from work, I would poke my head over the fence and hear you squealing…then you would come running, smiling and squealing to me. That was the best part of my day!”
What a great way to start the day….and what a great memory to hear my Dad share.
The beauty of the sky
The myriad of colors
The sounds of life abound
Even with the ever ringing in the ears…
It is as if I had been in a lifetime slumber
My senses forever dulled
Reaching upwards for help
While overwhelmed in quicksand…
Illness strips us of the familiar
We are thrust into the unknown
Each step taken as with a blindfold
Hands outstretched groping in darkness…
Our medical teams struggle
Conditions and illnesses so misunderstood
Further muddled by myriad of symptoms
Each of us so different from the other…
We search for answers
Yet try as we might
We find health elusive
Stripped from us and locked away
Secreted in the darkest, farthest corner…
We are tried and tested in ways indescribable
As words are a shallow testament
To the inner symptoms that abound
Forever changing and challenging…
As day nine post pain pump surgery begins, it strikes me that my pain specialist really did a great job in preparing me for this! I truly was ready to be homebound for the first two weeks. I was mentally ready to be patient with the process! What a thought!!
My thoughts are still muddled at times…very hard to keep on track. Yet…I can just smile and breath deeply…there is nothing that I have to do…except allow my body the time to heal….allow the scar tissue to build near the pain pump and the catheter.
I am able to step outside now…slowly and carefully with my walker. I do not venture very far…it is just a few steps to feel the touch of the sun on my skin…feel the slight breeze…see the brilliant colors! This is a treat that I enjoy once a day…in the mid morning. It is perfectly timed between rest breaks.
I am thankful that I am able to listen to my body…to sleep when I need to…to relax in my recliner (sitting in the chair…cannot put the foot rest up yet). My chair is just high and firm enough that I can get to a standing position with my walker as support. I know that I am not yet ready to sit or lie down on the couch.
I am getting anxious for my follow up appointment…I am excited to hear the plan my pain specialist has in mind…it will be interesting to see just how easy it is to remain patient! : )
Hopefully I will not scare any of you! LOL
I thought it appropriate to post proof that sleep can happen! Thus the wonderful “bed head” picture!
I have almost no memory of yesterday. It was one of those days that sleep overtook everything.
I did exactly what my body demanded and curled up in bed. I did not even think of combatting the heavy eyelids.
It was actually very freeing to just give in and allow my body to dictate its needs.
I am so thankful for a supportive husband and son that allow me to completely disconnect when my body demands it.
Per conversation with my doctor’s office, I am to continue taking it easy…moving about the house as I can…no bending, twisting, lifting, stretching. All is still looking good under the binder…swelling in lowest part of abdomen present…not nearly like before in other procedures.
At my follow up appointment, we will remove the tape and bandages…and at some point thereafter will be allowed to take a shower! I am thankful that our home is so well prepared for handicap…the bathroom counter is taller than normal….so it is easier to wet hair down.
It is important to make sure you have someone around! No matter how careful you are you will end up dropping something! LOL And…believe me…there is NO way to pick it up without asking for help.
At this point, I am better able to tell the difference from the surgical discomfort vs. the symptoms of my conditions. The surgical discomfort is SO minimal! Yet, it is just enough to be a constant reminder to be extra vigilant.