The most difficult challenge with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain Disorder, Neuralgia and the many other hidden conditions/illnesses that plague us, is the reality of how our lives change.
- Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com
As I have written in the past, we do go through a mourning process….just like when a loved one dies. It was very helpful for me to review the 7 Steps of Grief…not that it makes it easier…it reinforced the fact that I was not “going crazy”.
I was SO unprepared for the realities that would come with my Fibro and other conditions. My Faith, family, friends, and medical team have been lifelines as I have traveled along this narrow and twisted path.
- Loss of Job — I could no longer physically or mentally function in a productive manner. (I have learned to take advantage of those moments when the “brain fog” lifts ever so slightly.)
- Pursuing Disability — This turned out to be very long, challenging, and stressful. In my case with Fibromyalgia and Neuralgia (without a known cause), it took over 30 months.
- Financial Implications — Such a long wait for Disability drained our reserves, and forced more dependence upon credit. Slowly and steadily we are turning the tide.
- Divorce — The reality of the rift that had developed. My son and I are on our own. This transition to being a single parent has been rough.
- Driving Assistance — I am so thankful for the friends I have who take joy in driving me to my injections when needed. So glad that these tend to be about 3-4 month intervals!
In the early morning hours while saying a prayer, images were brought to mind. It was as if I was watching a slide show highlighting the path of chronic illness that I have been traveling. So empowering and providing such a tremendous peace, that I must share!
With spot light in hand, God provided a glimpse…a “bird’s eye” view of my path. It was like looking at a map. I could see that with each boulder, rock slide, downed tree, or gaping hole there was a small, hand drawn box. The boxes ranged in vicinity to the obstacles…sometimes it was next to the obstacle, sometimes it was a mile…yet with EACH impediment there was a box associated with it.
This personalized Isaiah 64:8 — “But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”
These boxes were the many “tools” that have been given to me! I am truly humbled and overwhelmed as I ponder this revelation…friendships, medications, Bible verses, change in attitude, phone calls, songs, surprise visits, text messages…
Some of these “tools” reappear to demonstrate how some are repurposed like my hernia belt that my husband had modified for me due to my Colostomy. This belt is now providing some relief to the Sacroiliac joint that is inflamed as I await the appointment for a steroid injection to reduce symptoms.
As I await results from additional testing, I am thankful for the “tools” that God has granted to me, especially for my family, friends, and medical team.
As if our body’s aren’t under enough stress with our hidden illnesses and conditions, there always seems that more gets added to our plate!
I have been absent in dealing with “new” pain affecting my lower back and both legs. Results of the MRI showed Herniated discs (L4 and L5, S1 and S2) and arthritis in same area. So yes, definitely Sciatica.
I will go in for steroid injections next Wednesday. I do hope they provide relief. It would be SO nice to go back to my “usual” pain!