I awoke today
With my mind a blur…
Looking at you
Your picture behind glass…
Waves of emotion
Well up from within…
Hit again with the reality
That you are with Heavenly Father…
My mind fights reality
As I want to awake…
Awake from this dream
To once again have you with us…
It seems like only yesterday
I got home from school
To find Mom frantically searching for Dad
You were READY to enter this world.
I was anxious and nervous
Would I have another brother or
Would I have a Baby Sister?
We knew the answer would be soon.
The first time I saw you
Lying in your bassinet
So small, so fragile
Yet beautiful and full of life
We were all in love at first sight!
I taped ribbons to your head
So frustrated that others
Would refer to you as a boy
My mind screaming “Would a boy wear pink?!?!?!”
You were my shadow
Forever beside me….never giving any space
Especially when we visited Grandparents!
I can still feel you curled up against my back
No matter what I did
You would sleep NO other way.
Oh! To relive those precious days!
My heart aches
Tears flow
I cannot help it.
You had only just admitted
To the most wonderful event
Of the terrific man in your life.
I…we….were so proud of your accomplishments
First in Class as Graduate of Law School
Making huge impressions on your new law firm
The promise of such a bright future!
Yet…God chose to call you home…
The Angel’s hand you did grasp
To rise into the light
The peace…the tranquility
The overwhelming love
In being united with all those gone before
To be present before our Lord….our God.
I once again see those beautiful blue eyes
That bright smile
The kiss upon the precious forehead
Of the shell that had housed
My most, beautiful, wonderful, precious, Baby Sis!
I write this knowing that I will NOT be able to keep my train of thought! (Those of you with Fibro and/or dealing with grief will understand!)
Today we had to take care of a few errands since my parents will be arriving tonight to visit us in our new home!
One of the frustrating experiences was at the furniture store. I could NOT remember the word or words “night stand….small dresser”! And, of course, my Hubby had to be the comedian! LOL The wonderful lady assisting us looked at me and said “You have Fibro?!”
Then of course the small talk about how we cannot connect a thought or how only one word comes to mind….no matter how out of context! (Yes! She has Fibro and saw it right off!)
Then I realized that I should not have fixed dinner! After all, who turns the burner to High thinking it was turned off???
Thankfully I caught it quickly and turned it off! Wow! THAT was a close one!
I would tell myself to remember to double check settings…..LOL
I guess you can tell…..Fibro + Grief = MAGNIFIED loss of short term memory!
It is hard to describe….I mean who really cannot remember if they brushed their teeth or took a shower? Even something as simple as changing one’s underwear!!!
I just smile! After all my new doctor has ordered a battery of tests….she wants to make sure that we have not missed something….
This I appreciate! Now to go through the additional tests…bloodwork today….MRI on Tuesday…..EMG with Neurologist to be determined! Appointment with Rheumatologist set….
I know my Baby Sis is pleased….she is looking down from Heaven and smiling…..I am finally getting the medical care I need.
Yes….my Dearest Sis! I can feel you in the rays of sunshine through the window….as I relax and anxiously await our parents to arrive!
Mom Is Sick -- For Parents & Kids 
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