Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘sibling’

State of Disbelief 

I awoke today

With my mind a blur…

Looking at you

Your picture behind glass…

Waves of emotion

Well up from within…

Hit again with the reality

That you are with Heavenly Father…

My mind fights reality

As I want to awake…

Awake from this dream

To once again have you with us…

Missing You!

Version 2

It seems like only yesterday

I got home from school

To find Mom frantically searching for Dad

You were READY to enter this world.

I was anxious and nervous

Would I have another brother or

Would I have a Baby Sister?

We knew the answer would be soon.

The first time I saw you

Lying in your bassinet

So small, so fragile

Yet beautiful and full of life

We were all in love at first sight!

I taped ribbons to your head

So frustrated that others

Would refer to you as a boy

My mind screaming “Would a boy wear pink?!?!?!”

You were my shadow

Forever beside me….never giving any space

Especially when we visited Grandparents!

I can still feel you curled up against my back

No matter what I did

You would sleep NO other way.

Oh! To relive those precious days!

My heart aches

Tears flow

I cannot help it.

You had only just admitted

To the most wonderful event

Of the terrific man in your life.

I…we….were so proud of your accomplishments

First in Class as Graduate of Law School

Making huge impressions on your new law firm

The promise of such a bright future!

Yet…God chose to call you home…

The Angel’s hand you did grasp

To rise into the light

The peace…the tranquility

The overwhelming love

In being united with all those gone before

To be present before our Lord….our God.

I once again see those beautiful blue eyes

That bright smile

The kiss upon the precious forehead

Of the shell that had housed

My most, beautiful, wonderful, precious, Baby Sis!

Note To Self…

I write this knowing that I will NOT be able to keep my train of thought! (Those of you with Fibro and/or dealing with grief will understand!)

Today we had to take care of a few errands since my parents will be arriving tonight to visit us in our new home!

One of the frustrating experiences was at the furniture store. I could NOT remember the word or words “night stand….small dresser”!  And, of course, my Hubby had to be the comedian! LOL  The wonderful lady assisting us looked at me and said “You have Fibro?!”  

Then of course the small talk about how we cannot connect a thought or how only one word comes to mind….no matter how out of context!  (Yes! She has Fibro and saw it right off!)

Then I realized that I should not have fixed dinner!  After all, who turns the burner to High thinking it was turned off???

Thankfully I caught it quickly and turned it off! Wow! THAT was a close one!

I would tell myself to remember to double check settings…..LOL

I guess you can tell…..Fibro + Grief = MAGNIFIED loss of short term memory!

It is hard to describe….I mean who really cannot remember if they brushed their teeth or took a shower?  Even something as simple as changing one’s underwear!!!

I just smile!  After all my new doctor has ordered a battery of tests….she wants to make sure that we have not missed something….

This I appreciate! Now to go through the additional tests…bloodwork today….MRI on Tuesday…..EMG with Neurologist to be determined!  Appointment with Rheumatologist set….

I know my Baby Sis is pleased….she is looking down from Heaven and smiling…..I am finally getting the medical care I need.

Yes….my Dearest Sis!  I can feel you in the rays of sunshine through the window….as I relax and anxiously await our parents to arrive!

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