Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘Sister’s death’

The Impact of Loss

Our son was given an assignment in English this week. His teacher asked that the class “brain storm” and then write a story…a true story…about something that taught them some type of a moral lesson.  It was to have conflict, climax, etc.

He was very frustrated with this assignment.  “Mom…my life is flat….other classmates came up with ideas right away…”

I started mentioning ideas…hoping to spark his creative interest…

“What about our move?”

“No!” he said emphatically.  Tears welling in his eyes.

“Why not?” I asked knowing the answer.

“Because it involves Aunt Carrie. I have to keep that inside.” His tearful response.

I reassured him that it is okay to cry….it is okay to miss his Aunt…that I and many others miss her very much…each and every day.  I also reassured him that talking about it helps. And, that I understood why he would not want to use that as a topic in class.

After some more discussion, he hit upon his go cart that he had made with his Dad…perfect story!  He was able to immediately map out his thoughts for how he could present it in story form…showing how the process had strengthened his self confidence.

Yes, it has been one year and five months since that life changing day. The day that forever changed so many lives!

Last night reminded me again, of how challenging the sudden death of someone so close is for our children.  They do not have the resources that we as adults have…the experiences…the maturity to muddle their way through.

It is vitally important that we take time…take the time sit with them…to allow them to talk, sit in silence, or cry.  We have to help them…to guide them through the grieving process.

Always in My Heart


The moment you entered my life

My first impression of you curled in that bassinet

Will be forever frozen in time…..

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I close my eyes to see

The curly blond, blue eyed toddler

Smiling as she gives me a gift of painted rocks….

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I feel the rain

As we traipsed through

The streets of Washington, D.C….

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I laugh at the stories

Of you and our brother

With frozen eyes in New York City…

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I am also giggling

At the stories of road travel

Especially trying to get into Canada…

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I am reminded of

Your “twin”….your friend from birth

As I took care of you both in the Church Nursery…

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I smile at the memory of your

Shared birthday celebration in Roseburg

With your precious friend you so wanted me to meet…

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

Those many phone calls

Talks of concern about grades…about life….

Decisions to be made…..reassurance and hope….

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

Your look of disbelief

When I said he feels the same

For I saw how he looked at you…

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

The doting Aunt

Whose nephew and niece

Looked at you as one who walked on water….

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

Somehow you always knew

The right word…the right touch….the right insight

To help….to guide….to enlighten…to share…

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

I often wondered how

You could do so much

In such a short amount of time…

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

You are the most precious gift

Given from our Father above

Thank you for your love…your laugh….your insights….

Will Forever be Always in my Heart…

A Teary, Bleary Day

After a night of fitful dreams

Deep in color and emotion

The body now even more fatigued…

The sky expresses my turmoil

A glimpse of blue

Thick black clouds

Roll slowly, heavily overhead…

Their load released as

Fresh white snow on the mountain

Some falling as rain

Before the transformation…

The wind will gust

Then sudden silence

No movement no sound

Except for the lonely call of a dove…

Vibrant colors surround

Spring brings life

Yet with it sadness

The reminder of loss…

That hollow ache

The yearning to reach out

To touch….to hear…

Memory brings images

Laughter and sunshine

Shared experiences

The deep connection

That even death cannot break…

Slowly go about a few tasks

Listening to the sounds

Of Meatloaf on the stereo

Shifting focus as I struggle

The tears come and go

Just as the rain…

Today the elements

And I are united…

In a teary….bleary…day….

Living with Loss

I am still struggling…

Still learning to live without you…


Without your physical presence…

It is strange…

I reach for the phone

To call…

Your voice message comes on

Perky and full of life


I am faced with the stark reality

You are not here…

You are no longer with us physically.

This precious bear

With its wonderful necklace

Is with you

Will be with you forever.

As your nephew wanted

You will forever have

The presence of Lucky with you!

It is so hard

To not hear your voice

To not be able to see you.

Your presence is missed so much!

I hurt for those

So close to you

As I feel their pain…

You made such an impact

On so many…

In so many ways!

My words are such a shadow

I can barely shine

The barest feeble light…

Compared to you!

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