Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘surgery. family’

Nagging

Miriam-Webster’s definition “to irritate by constant scolding or urging”.

Now let us see, as we turn the mind’s eye inward,

I see the perfect parallel to our path with pain.

We are under the constant scourge

The overbearing pressure

With the constant knowing

That we are no longer in control.

It is not by our own volition

For we did not seek this fight

Nor did we ask for his assistance

Yet here we are, in league and alongside.

We are driven to depths unknown

We see and experience well beyond most

Yet we are driven to continue

To press forward, to endure.

Our path often misunderstood

For no-one except one of us

Can truly catch, or grasp, the meaning

Of our relationship with Pain.

For ours is a hidden path

One that is misunderstood

To bear what is cloaked

Unseen by the many.

We are charged to share

To shine, even a momentary light

To the hidden culprit

Who is urging us forward

Displaying our weakest moments to all.

It is our companion

Our ever present guide

Upon this path we did not seek

This that sets us a part from others.

It is our relationship with Pain

Our hidden struggle

That has forged a strong bond

No longer against….but with.

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Fruit And Choices

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Living with chronic illness/chronic pain has been a gift …

God has so blessed me during this time…

It has NOT been easy…

So thankful for supportive family and friends…

I was reminded today

As we were joined by friends

I supervised from the seat of my RAZR…

Our lives bear fruit

As we were taught in Sunday School

The parable of the vineyard…

How the vines are pruned

To produce fruit…

I view my health struggles

As God’s pruning…

He has a plan for me…

Just as He does for each of us…

I look at the beautiful cherries

And am hopeful that

I will be blessed with fruit

That I will be able to

Offer hope to others…

Feeling Guilty 

As the oldest child, I am reeling from the loss of my Baby Sis! 

I am feeling overly emotional…raw….I am torn….

Why did my awesome Sis….who was SO gifted….First in Her Class of the U of O Law School!  Published while she was a student!!

My Sis was BEYOND amazing!  She touched so many lives….had such a huge impact on those around her!

I am struggling….feeling overwhelmed!  There were several times that MY life should have been taken!  Yet it wasn’t….so why was I spared?

Why was my Baby Sis who had just really started her life taken?  Why wasn’t she given the opportunity to share and enjoy her life with her awesome Partner?  After all…her Boyfriend was the love of her life!

I was granted Life when I had severe HELLP syndrome when our son was born. (My poor husband was told that I would probably not survive the night.)

I was granted life again when the hospital tried to OD me with the pump…(found out later my chair was set at 10 times the dose!)….

Why have I been spared?  What does God have in store for me that could…in any way come near to my Sis?!?!!

I will not know the answer until I meet my beautiful Sister in Heaven…..

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