Embracing life with chronic pain and illnesses.

Posts tagged ‘tragedy’

Precious Memories

It was 5 years ago today that my parents received the call. Carrie and Billy were in an accident. Carrie died at the scene and Billy was in hospital. All I could think of was getting to the hospital to see both of them! Just wanted to give Billy hugs and talk or sit.

Ally was able to meet me at the hospital to go in and see Carrie. Very emotional yet so reassuring! We could both tell that she is in heaven and just a shell remains.

Her Celebration of life and burial were amazing! All of those whose lives she had touch! Those from the law firm where she had been hired arrived in a bus! So many friends and family! Truly touched me.

Fast forward to today.

Our hearts will feel heavy today as someone so dear so endearing would be taken from us.

Yet Carrie’s legacy is living on through our memories, pictures, stories and her Memorial Scholarship awarded each year by University of Oregon Law School in her name. Students learn about Carrie and for 3 years now have been award the scholarship in her honor. Each one is touched by Carrie and so thankful!

I love seeing her picture and that smile! I will always hear her laugh and voice in my heart. She is part of us and always be so!

Love you forever and always Dear CareBear…

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chronic pain, hidden conditions, hidden illness

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Moving Forward!

Seizing an opportunity IS difficult!  I am struggling SO much with my Fibromyalgia and Polyarthralgia!  I am SO sensitive to the barometric pressure and humidity on the Coast!

We must make a change…a drastic change for me.  We will be moving from the Coast…inland to a more desert type environment. It is the best hope to offer some relief!

I keep hearing “See You Again” by Carrie Underwood!

I know that I will see my Baby Sis again!  She has gone before me….before our parents and brothers! Suddenly and unexpectedly!

Yet the visual pics of her life that our brother put together….entwined with music which included…”See You AgaIn”!

Well?!?!  I just sit back now….smile….and watch this full kaleidoscope of memories envelope me!  I feel myself taken to the distant past….to the past….and most recent past!

I see the beautiful curly blond haired blue eyed child looking up to me….to the wonderful playful blond blued girl that refused to wear a dress!!!!  Then I see the most beautiful blond haired blue eyed woman in front of me!

The wonderful woman who has accomplished so much!  Who was able to reach out and touch SO many!

Yes! My Sis will accompany us on our next journey! Her spirit is forever with us!  I carry her in my heart…just as my husband and son!

I embrace this next journey to seek health and healing for my body!  We all wish that!

I also know that a part of my Sis will journey with us!

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Still Reeling!

As everyone who has lost someone close unexpectedly, you know that the process of grief is just that…..a process!

It is a new reality….it alters our perception….it makes our life a roller coaster!  Yes….with time the roller coaster….the emotional swings will not be as great…..

At least that is what others say! And what I have read!  LOL

I know life will forever be different. I do find myself appreciating family and friends even more!  I find it hard not to tell a friend to hug her sister every chance she gets! (Whether or not she would want to hear it!😀)

Thankfully our friends appreciate what I cannot help but blurt out!  

I also find myself looking for ways to honor my Sis….I think about what I can do to impact someone’s life….how I can best contribute to those around me. 

The most difficult part? Being “Mom”….seeing our son on his rough days!  Knowing that all I can do is hold him and let him cry….to cry with him….to let him verbalized how much he misses his Aunt….to let him ask questions…..to answer what I can and let him know I am hurting and miss her too….

Last night he made a comment that still rings true….”Mom…you got to be around Aunt Carrie her whole life! You were there for everything!  That is so much better than if she were older than you!  Then you wouldn’t have had as much time! You know Mom? Don’t you agree, Mom?”

Yes! Well said my dear son!

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Memorial

   
What a beautiful memorial to my sis!  A wonderful sunny day….there was a slight breeze.  

Only a couple of rigs drove by while we were standing and taking this in.  

I wasn’t sure I was ready….so glad that we took the detour!  I am ready to go back….armed with flowers!

Love you, Sis! 

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An Amazing Day

  

A wonderful start to the day!  My Baby Sister had collected her hair from her first haircut until about the age of 6 for our Grandfather….Grandpa Joe….how had always been bald!  She wanted to give him hair!

When going through drawers at her house, I found where she had her “hair stash”!  Decided it would be best to take it and finally give it to Grandpa.

So….yesterday, Saturday….I met up with her longtime, childhood best friend.  We sat on Grandpa and Grandma’s grave and cut up Carrie’s hair!

We laughed and talked…..enjoyed the fact that they were all laughing down upon us as we saw her final wish come to fruition!  Grandpa would enjoy the wonderful hair she had so carefully gathered for him!

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